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10 Things you didn’t know about Nairobi college girls

By JACKIE MUGO October 31st, 2015 2 min read

For the men who fancy relationships with those pretty young things in college, here is what you should expect to come along with that nicely packaged item:

1. Fake it till you make it – This is the mantra that Nairobi college girls live by. When you see one, you might think she is the CEO of some blue chip company. But shock on you! Nearly everything about them is fake; from the six inch heels bought in Nairobi’s CBD at night (which by the way I have no problem with) to the large ‘designer’ bags they carry everywhere, not forgetting the fake hips and push up bras for the not so well endowed. And of course, head held high, they hit the road.

2. Most are on birth control – A combination of random sex and an insane fear of pregnancy, most of these girls will at any given time be on birth control. Pregnancy remains to be Nairobi’s modern college girl’s worst nightmare.

3. The guy with the most dough will always win – What matters to them is what you bring to the table. Period!

4. Call them skinny and they will love you forever – Most of these girls are on insane dieting programmes, so just appreciate their efforts. Never use the word fat on them. After all, they are not fat, they are just easily visible, right?

5. Behind every successful Nairobi man there’s a girl waiting to spend his money – This phenomena is commonly referred to as ‘sponsorship’. The man is of course the sponsor in this case.

6. They are extremely fussy about their wardrobes – Looking good is one of their unwritten rules, yet they usually have nothing to wear even when starring at a closet full of clothes.

7. They carry around bags full of stuff – So much stuff, things they think they might need, not what they actually need.

8. They apply make up every time – Whether they are going shopping, taking out the garbage or simply going to get grocery at the kiosk, make up is a must for them.

9. Serial players – Most of them are in multiple relationships. So if you already have the tag ‘boyfriend’, trust me there is always somebody richer and better looking lurking somewhere in the shadows. But if your college girlfriend is faithful, then thank your lucky stars.

10. Selfies, selfies and more selfies – These are used specifically to gauge popularity and looks. The more the ‘likes’ the better… Oh, and all these selfies come with weird hashtags such as #pretty pretty, #beauty tings, #am sorry am not sorry etc…