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4 dangers of becoming the coveted ‘stay at home’ girlfriend, wife or mum

By Winnie Mabel February 18th, 2024 2 min read

Majority of today’s modern women are increasingly seeking to work, earn money and be a contributing member of the household. With changing societal norms and greater gender equality, women are pursuing careers and professional ambitions like never before.

They strive for financial independence, not only for themselves but also to contribute to their families’ well-being. This lifestyle change represents a broader desire for equality and recognition of women’s capabilities beyond traditional gender roles of being caregivers and dependents.

As they join the workforce in their millions, everyday, many more women long for the days when they could be dependents. Despite the strides women have made in the workforce, there are some who long to be dependents due to the challenges they face.

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For some, work can be demanding, stressful and exhausting, leaving them feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. Additionally, the pay may not always be enough to cover expenses or provide financial security, leading to feelings of frustration and disillusionment. In such situations, the idea of being a dependent may seem appealing, offering a sense of relief from the pressures of work.

But then, many long for and go into this ‘stay at home’ girlfriend, wife or mum lifestyle without really thinking about the risks involved. Nairobi News now explores what some of these unique challenges could be:

  1. You become financially dependent on another person to live your life. If the partner loses their job, becomes incapacitated or the relationship ends, the stay-at-home spouse may face financial difficulties without their own income. She would also be stuck in the relationship in the event of infidelity because she has no savings or job prospects to leave and restart her life.
  2. Your career trajectory comes to a grounding halt. Despite staying at home either to take care of the family or go on a sabbatical, this can lead to a disruption in career advancement and earning potential. Re-entering the workforce after an extended period away may be challenging, especially if your skills become outdated or industries have changed.
  3. Unless you are an active social butterfly, you will be facing isolation. Stay-at-home partners may experience social isolation, particularly if they do not have a strong support network. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and impact mental health- especially when their friends are away at work or running their own businesses with flexible hours and no bosses to answer to.
  4. Loss of power in the relationship. Two earning partners tend to have a balanced power sharing dynamic in the relationship. But when one partner decides to stay at home for one reason, the lose this power to the other partner. They will have more say and control over the relationship in decision making; and this can lead to feelings of disempowerment, frustration and self loathing in the stay at home partner.