CITY GIRL: And you ask why I said do not listen to pastors!
In a shocking tale, the husband of Jackeline Mwende has been charged with chopping off her hands and brutally mutilating her face, all because she could not give birth.
Never mind that she said a doctor had given her a clean bill of health. She said that the doctor pointed out that it was her husband who may have had a few reproductive issues.
Mwende told of how she confided in her pastor who told her to stay on and fight for her marriage, because church does not condone divorce.
“He will change, Mwende. Let us pray for him. God will change his heart and he will open his eyes,” I can only imagine that Pastor Kioko telling her, as he rubbed her hand, comforting the poor woman.
I have said this here before and I will say it again. Kenyan women, it is time you stopped listening to your pastors.
Your pastor, that daddy or mummy pastor that plays golf on Mondays as you slave away in the office, is a conman and a clever businessman. Your pastor needs you to be vulnerable, stuck in that unhappy marriage with that cad of a husband because then, you are dependent on him.
No pastor likes a confident woman who does not believe that nonsense that a pastor must pray for her in order to succeed. An unhappily married woman is every Kenyan pastor’s dream come true.
Pastors thrive on your misery and vulnerability. A pastor loves a troubled woman because you are his marionette. He knows you will do anything to save your marriage and he will milk you dry of every coin you earn.
The story of Mwende is just one in a million. There are many Kenyan women reading this who are stuck in loveless, unhappy marriages with men who have not an iota of the fear of God in them.
I know there are millions of highly educated, well-paid women in high-flying careers who are stuck with cruel husbands that keep mistresses all over town only because mummy pastor says, ‘We will pray for him.”
They stay on, crying themselves to sleep and hiding their swollen eyes behind layers of concealer and foundation because Pastor is interceding on her behalf. They are ‘living by faith’ and ‘waiting upon the Lord’ because Pastor is fasting just to pray for her.
That, my girls, is BS. And by BS I don’t mean Bachelor of Science.
Your husband is never going to change. If he was a player from day one, he will be a player until Kingdom come (can I get an Amen!).
If you caught your husband cheating on you and sponsoring a pretty young thing from the office, paying her rent and buying her a car, no amount of Pastor’s prayers will change your philandering husband.
He will never have a change of heart and you are a fool to stay in that marriage simply because mummy pastor said patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.
If your husband is not treating you right, if he comes home drunk at 3:32am, smelling of another woman’s perfume, there is no amount of pastor’s laying of hands that will change that.
By the way, even those ‘daughters of lion’ conferences you go to will not make you a better wife.
Marriages may be made in heaven, but pastors are not marriage experts and they will never be.
Your pastor is not a god to be adored and worshipped. The devil today does not come dressed in a black robe, spotting a pair of horns and red, scary eyes.
The devil today carries a Bible, stands on the pulpit, asks you for your money to bankroll his high-end lifestyle and his name is “Pastor”. Kenyan pastors are the devil incarnates and you Kenyan women need to stop giving them a reason to be in business.
I know the Bible does not advocate for divorce, but the Bible was not written at a time of HIV/Aids and a whole lot of other sexually transmitted infections (hello, bacterial vaginosis!).
I am well aware that the church does not condone divorce and shuns single mothers and divorcees but will the church take care of your children when you die of Aids? Will mummy pastor raise your children when your abusive husband finally beats you to death?
If you are not happy in your marriage, leave. Walk away. So what if you get divorced? So what if you will be a single mother?
If Jesus hang out with prostitutes and borrowed water from a Samaritan woman with five husbands, he will have room for a divorced, single mother of three (This is where you tell me: Preach, sister, preach!).