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CITY GIRL: Why women don’t walk away even when hubbies stray

By NJOKI CHEGE November 7th, 2015 3 min read

A local DJ filmed himself having sex with a woman. The video leaked and was widely shared last week. As expected, it drew a lot of harsh talk from all quarters.

The young and impressionable DJ is the typical blue band boy who worships at the altar of Instagram where he has sold himself as a happy family man to his equally dumb followers.

In an apology posted on social media, he admitted ‘falling from grace’ and begged for forgiveness from family, friends and fans.

I read the apology countless time.

Well, ask me and I will tell you that the man should not have apologised. More so to his wife.

Don’t get me wrong. If he was apologising because he was afraid his wife would abandon him, let him save his breath. She, like hordes of other women, would not leave a man just because a video of his sexual escapades is doing rounds.

Cheating is a trivial matter for the lady of the house. I am willing to bet that the DJ will have his wife and children back as soon as the storm is over. She might throw a tantrum or two, threaten to move out but trust me, atarudi tu.

They always come back. Forget this drivel and hogwash sold by old, tired and single female activists preying on younger men on Twitter.

The real married woman knows what I am talking about.

So she discovered text messages from that hot intern on husband’s phone? She knows the man is sleeping around but has not left. It is not because of the children. That is a tired excuse.

It is not even about the money. Some of them make way more than their men.

So why does she stay?

1. She wants to maintain the status quo: Her Facebook and Instagram pages are brimming with photos of her and her ‘hubby’ canoodling on a date night, on foreign trips, much to the envy of friends.

In fact, in her gang of sorority sisters, she seems to be the only one who is ‘happily married’.

But then she discovers that the hubby’s gym clothes smell fresh and sweet fabric softener. The cad of a husband, she realises, has been having an affair for months.

Because she wants to remain the envy of her bevy of girlfriends; she takes it in like a “real” woman.
Leaving her husband just because he had a tryst with an intern is not worth the trouble.

It would mean disrupting a façade of a perfect life she has carefully crafted. It would mean the crumbling of a house of cards she worked so hard to build. It would destroy the optics and be gravely embarrassing.

2. Nobody wants her: Let’s face it. She is closer to 40 than 30 and life has not been kind.
No man in his right senses would want to touch an older woman with so much baggage. Between the vagaries of childbirth and tonnes of pizza, she is not exactly the looker she was 15 years ago and she knows it.

Let me be a little nice. Let’s assume she has been taking care of herself and is still a bombshell. An old one for that matter. Nobody wants to date and marry a 47-year-old divorcee and a mother of three, unless of course, she is loaded — which probably is not the case.

I don’t mean that she might not get a little action here and there, but it would be from those younger men older women prey on with Subarus and pent houses in Kilimani.

Or a Nigerian drug pusher who will stash kilos of cocaine into her bag and swindle her alimony.
Having considered that, she wisely decides to stay and let the old libertine cool his heels in a South B servant quarter.

3. Mummy’s girl: Hillary did it. Her mother did it. So did her aunt. Who is she not to stand by her philandering man when he embarrasses her publicly?

Look at politicians being accused of rape, murder of university girls, hosting orgies in Kilimani etc.
Don’t they have wives? Standards have already been set. She has watched her mother as she discovered her father’s secret family and stayed.

Hillary forgave Bill. Therefore, sticking with your man after he cheats is not strange. It is standard procedure so she goes with the flow!

4. She is a deluded Zion sister who believes that tonnes of prayers and supplication will change a cheating man.

She is the mummy pastor’s right hand woman and is the typical gullible and vulnerable Christian woman.

She religiously attends those monthly prayer meetings to listen to American and Nigerian pastors who tell her what she wants to hear.

Her mummy pastor — who has succeeded to lie to the church that she is in a happy marriage — often prays and encourages her to wait for the Lord’s miracle.

Mummy pastor advises her to stick to the man because the Lord shall prevail.

So she stays and continues praying for her cheating husband to take his eyes off the many little women in the office.