Nairobi News

Words fail me in describing my relief when our MPs used their pea-sized brains for once in the history of this country and failed to pass the Gender Bill on Thursday.

This so-called Duale-sponsored Bill, if you ask me, is the most useless legislation to ever reach Parliament.

For MPs to collectively use their common sense calls for celebration and that is why this week they made it to this column because the City Girl celebrates common sense.

That Gender Bill, my dear readers, was an insult to the Kenyan woman and I will tell you why. Forget what the lazy female MPs have told you on morning radio stations and on television shows. Here is the bitter truth and I am going to serve it just the way I like it. Stone-cold.

First of all, let’s count. Ready? Good. We have 47 woman representatives. Add to that 16 elected female MPs. What do you have so far? 63? Great! Add to that five nominated MPs and also an additional 18 women nominated to the Senate. You get a total of 86 female lawmakers in Parliament.

Okay, some subtraction now. Out of the 86, remove 16 elected and what do you have? 70. Keep that 70 in mind.

Your math says we have a total of 86 female lawmakers in this country. I disagree. I say we have 86 deluded ‘flower girls’ in Parliament who think that everything should be given to them on a silver platter.

Our national obsession with free things is primed and perfected by these female MPs who want things to be handed out to them only on the basis of what lies between their legs and not what is between their ears.

DANGEROUS PRECEDENT

They may carry fancy law degrees from UK universities, but they got absolutely nothing in class. The days of political tokenism are over. You may dress this Bill in fancy clothes known as ‘affirmative action’ and ‘gender equality’ but nothing could be further from the truth.

These female MPs who are spending money to lobby male MPs to vote for a faulty Bill are setting a very dangerous precedent to the young women and girls, I included.

Asking for extra free 80 seats is defeatist and bottom-of-the barrel thinking that promotes the nibuyie and nipee culture among young women who will walk this earth feeling very entitled thinking that they don’t need to work.

I am not even concerned about the extra Sh3.02 billion wage burden these free seats would have cost the taxpayer. I will leave that to the Opposition folks.

What I am concerned about is that we will have an additional 80 female MPs on top of the already sluggish 86 who do nothing in Parliament and for their people.

We already have 47 woman representatives, most of whom cannot put a finger to what they have done since 2013, unless of course you consider accompanying the DP on foreign trips aboard the hustlers jet a ‘job’.

The current female MPs have become a disgrace to this country and they first of all need to style up before we can think of adding more into that flock.

When they are not filming sex tapes with flamboyant senators, they are tossing their torn and dirty knickers all over Parliament as if they are in some Jamaican-artiste’s concert.

GENDER EQUALITY

You want gender equality? I will show you gender equality. Go out there to the battlefield and fight it out with the men. Loose a few teeth so that we know you are for real. Tackle those men, stoically, like a real woman and stop fussing over a Gender Bill.

Nobel Laureate Wangari Maathai stood up against an entire government and its strong policemen, who yanked the braids off her scalp and won the peace prize.

Martha Karua did the unthinkable and walked out on a sitting President at a function. She did not die.

I could go on and on but I guess you smart-mouth feminist types already know this.

You want power? Get off your oversize derrieres and get it. Power is taken, not given on a bei ya jioni basis in the form of a Bill.

If you want extra seats, you toss your weave aside and get down to business. You cannot achieve gender equality using #hashtags. You have to stop crowding Nairobi hotels and go back to your villages where you were elected and do some ‘empowerment’.

And for goodness sake, raise your own campaign money. Special election kitty for who and for what?

If you are woman and you want to join politics, approach it like a man would. Logically and practically.

Do a simple cost-benefit analysis and if your books don’t balance, close the door on your way out and leave those with money to campaign.

If it gets to the worst, ask your senator boyfriends to bankroll you.

The bottom line is, politics of tokenism will never work and has never worked. Mung’ng’ane na wanaume!