Dear men, here’s how to defend your boundaries against unwanted female attention
Stereotype has it that because some men are highly visual and easy to please, they would never turn away a woman’s advances as simply as saying ‘no.’ They would allegedly welcome female banter and flirting as a means of testing the waters to see if she was worth the thrill of the chase and conquer.
But see, not all men are simple minded to entertain such female advances. They know how to say no firmly and stick to their stand. Be that as it may, there are some women who don’t know that a man’s no means no- no matter how confident they are in their beauty, fashion and capabilities in netting a man.
Some women bulldoze their way into the lives of men who capture their interest, try their best to entwine their lives with these men with some going as far as trapping these men with intimacy, financial gain and others with babies.
Are our men safe out there, though?
Well, if you are one of these unicorn men who’s no means no, and you don’t want the attention of a particular female who just can’t take the hint, here is how you can go about protecting your boundaries against such unwanted attention and advances:
- Do not allow such women to interact with you beyond public spaces. Do not give her your phone number, your home address, inform her of your shared friends or maintain physical contact with her. Some women are natural born investigators and by giving her your number or allowing her to take your photo will open holes for her to dig into your life and even find out your great-grandmother’s name. Establish boundaries from the first interaction and don’t make concessions at any point because all she will need is an inch before digging the kilometer into your life.
- Communication is one of the hardest things for men to keep up with. They don’t speak up when they should, and when they do- it is too late. This will create a conducive environment for those unwanted advances to thrive. Learn to use your words and be clear about what your boundaries are without being aggressive or rude.
- Do not allow some women to lead you into situations that could confuse them into thinking you have an interest in them. Do not accept to go out on dates with a woman you don’t want to be around, don’t flirt with her and don’t get involved in her personal business- no matter how lightly you tread. This is all the encouragement she will need to continue ‘forcing’ herself on you. As much as possible, keep your distance away from such women.
- Like I mentioned earlier, some of these women may end up resorting to trapping methods to stay in men’s lives. Document all your interactions; screenshot those messages and images. You never know if you may need all this information down the line when things turn ugly- like claims you got her pregnant when you’ve never seen the color of the nail polish on her toes!
- When all else fails, enlist a third party to help you keep unwanted female attention away. You can get a wingman to help you get rid of such women, talk to your family and friends or find authorities who can do something with finality about this unwanted attention.
At the end of the day, you must remember that not all women subscribe to the ‘weaker gender’ notion. Some go after what they want with the ‘strength’ of a man and nothing will come in between them and their desires.
How are your boundaries today?