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Eight childhood beliefs Nairobi women bring into marriage

Even between the best matched couples, sometimes love isn’t enough. The beliefs and attitudes that each party brings into a relationship determine whether it eventually works or not.

Here’s a look into beliefs and attitudes that Nairobi women need to drop before marriage.

1. I have rights – True, you have rights and it is a free country. A romantic relationship however isn’t the place to try and exert these rights. Marriage is built on the basis of love and understanding. If you go in aggressively fighting for your rights, then you and your man will always be at loggerheads.

2. It’s not my fault- Someone with an immature attitude will not be able to take responsibility for their wrong doings. A woman with this attitude will always be seeking to assign blame instead of looking within herself to see how she contributed to a fall out so that she can rectify it.

3. It is 50-50 – No, no matter what you heard growing up, marriage can never be 50-50. It isn’t about you giving half of what is needed. It is about you giving 100 percent. When you go into marriage with the 50-50 attitude, you will always be keeping count of what you have given. This eventually leads to resentment.

4. The silent treatment – This is how a lot of people fight. A woman will ignore or refuse to acknowledge her significant other when the two of them are involved in a fight. While this may feel good at the moment, it will emotionally disconnect your partner from you at that moment. When done repeatedly, it just might disconnect them from the relationship altogether.

5. Depending on Mommy – If you put your parent in between you and your spouse, then that marriage is going to fail spectacularly. If you want to have a mature union, then you will need to create some space between you and your mother.

6. If it doesn’t work, we will just split – This attitude has to be one of the major reasons why today’s marriages are failing. When you believe that splitting is the easy option, then you will not work hard enough to keep the relationship together. When going into marriage, divorce should not even be an option.

7. My dad didn’t do it like that – Nairobi women are increasingly expecting the men they marry to step into the shoes of the men that raised them. If you expect your husband to behave exactly like your father did, then you are in for disappointment. The two men have different backgrounds and even if their backgrounds are the same, no two people are similar.

8. Herd mentality – When women are younger, they hang out in groups. They believe that it is important to be part of a group. This is a belief you will need to give up if you are planning to have a happy, healthy marriage.