From exes to allies: 8 drama-free ways ex-couples can successfully co-parent
No one ever goes into a relationship already thinking about how they are going to break up. Worse, no one plans a future and has children with a partner with the mentality of breaking up before death – or ‘taxes’ – part them. Be it children who have been planned for or unexpected pregnancies, couples often look forward to raising a stable family but sometimes, ‘taxes’ come in between them, forcing them to part ways two to five children in.
And so commence the bitterness, the manipulation and the misuse of children to get back at a partner. What ensues is mental anguish over the emotional, financial and social manipulations and set backs that come when a former couple fight over the children – worse, if one decides they are done with the partner, they are also done with the children.
How, then, does such a couple calm down and move into a phase of successful peaceful co-parenting?
Nairobi News brings you tips on how to minimize the drama and how couples can co-parent effectively below:
- Co-parents should maintain pen and respectful communication with each other. They should keep discussions focused on the children and avoid personal attacks or blame. They should also use neutral, non-confrontational language when discussing parenting matters.
- Co-parents should create an entailed parenting plan that outlines schedules, responsibilities, and decision-making processes. This can help provide structure and clarity for both parents and the children. The parents should be flexible and willing to accommodate changes when necessary, keeping the best interests of the children in mind.
- Co-parents should remember their children’s well being should be the top priority. They should make decisions based on what is best for them rather than personal grievances or desires. They should encourage a healthy and loving relationship between the children and the other parent.
- The co-parents should establish consistent rules, routines, and expectations across both households. This can help provide stability for the children and minimize confusion. Consistency in parenting styles can also prevent disagreements and conflicts between parents.
- Co-parents must recognize and respect each other’s boundaries and personal lives. They should avoid prying into the other parent’s personal matters or trying to control their decisions. They should focus on co-parenting matters and keeping their interactions centered around the children.
- If emotions or conflicts become overwhelming, co-parents should consider seeking professional help such as family therapy or mediation. A neutral third party can assist in facilitating discussions and finding solutions that work for both parents and the children.
- Co-parents could utilize technology tools like shared calendars, messaging apps or co-parenting platforms to facilitate communication and ensure everyone is on the same page regarding schedules, appointments and important updates.
- Co-parents should maintain a positive attitude and try to foster a cooperative co-parenting relationship. They should encourage the children to express their feelings and provide emotional support to help them adjust to the new family dynamic.
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