Full guide to being ‘friends with benefits’
While not many will admit to it, friends with benefits arrangements aren’t alien in the Kenyan dating scene. A no strings attached intimate arrangement can be both fun and convenient. If you aren’t careful though, it can turn out to be the source of your biggest heart break. Here’s how to have a successful no string attached relationship;
1. Honesty – Friends with benefits arrangements thrive on honesty. At every step of the way, you ought to be honest about your intentions and expectations. Almost all heart breaks are as a result of unmet expectations.
2. Do not fall in love – Ideally, friends with benefits arrangement ought to be purely physical. But when you are spending a lot of time with someone, lines can get blurred. Pay attention to changing feelings. If you fall for your friends with benefits, chances are that they will hurt you.
3. Groom yourself– Just because you do not envision a future with your ‘friend’ doesn’t mean that it is okay to show up looking like you were caught out in a storm. Show some effort in your grooming just like you would someone you were actually dating. It is common courtesy.
4. Leave family out of it – If both you and your friend are on the same page regarding the nature of your relationship, then you have no reason at all to go introducing each other to family and friends. This will only add strings to the arrangement.
5. Choose wisely – There’s a chance that a friends with benefits arrangement will end in heartbreak. For this reason, it is wise not to choose an actual friend to have friends with benefits arrangement with. You could end up losing a good friend.
6. Don’t gift – Gift giving should be preserved for sentimental relationships. When you start exchanging gifts with your friend with benefits, you begin having expectations of each other. This almost always ends up in disappointments and heart breaks. Your goal should be keeping it as simple as possible. While at it, have fun.
7. Keep your options open – If the two of you have already agreed that you have no plans of a future together, do not let your arrangement derail you.
