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Ganja president excites his supporters with pledge to export hyena scrotum

From promising to legalise bhang to selling dog meat, Roots Party presidential candidate Prof George Wajackoyah has yet again managed to amaze Kenyans after declaring that if elected into office his government will also start selling hyena scrotum.

Speaking during the unveiling of his manifesto on Thursday night at the KICC, Wajackoyah explained that hyena’s scrotum is used as medicine in parts of China.

“I hear the scrotum of hyenas is used for medicinal purposes in China and it is sold at a high price. This means it is even more valuable than bhang. One scrotum goes for Sh6 million. So we shall export scrotums of hyenas and dog meat,” Wajackoya said.

According to the lawyer, who launched his presidential campaign in February, the only way to pull the country out of what he has described as a choking national debt, is investment in marijuana farming.

He has also promised all children below 18 years, people living with disabilities and expectant women access to free medical cover.

Other promises in his manifesto include rearing of snakes which he says with every venomous snake farmer making as much as Sh600,000 per vial of anti-venom. For example, a cobra farmer would make $6,300 from a vial of cobra anti-venom. If we harvest Black mamba anti-venom, a Kenyan farmer will make $5,300 per vial.

He also pledged to end what he terms as Chinese colonization of Kenya by shutting down the Standard Gauge Railway (SGR) and bringing down all the Chinese statues along the railway line route. This, he says, would be followed by construction of a new railway system using Kenya’s own money.