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Five hard questions that remain unanswered in 2017

So, folks, we are nearly four months into 2017. It’s a sad thing. And a relief too. The year we have been talking about for, what, five years. You know why.

As the last year slithered away to history, there are a number of things I had expected I would be able to unravel. But nay. With three months already gone, I am still thriving in bloody blankness.

1. Social media gurus

A friend triggered quite a stir online a few months ago when, on a Facebook post, he said in 2016, he had fared much better on Twitter than in real life.

The age of smartphones and social media has bestowed upon some human souls so much clout online. A photo or post generates incredible impressions in the form of likes and comments that run into hundreds.

In real life however, you will discover in most instances, these people command absolutely no following. Their life is as bland and as commonplace as that of your regular Jason, Pythagoras and Hercules. That is if the person is not a prat.

Pray, if all the likes, comments, tweets and retweets garnered by their posts could be converted into moolah, I bet we would have more millionaires in Kenya than is sanely possible.

2. Mediocrity at work

As your regular wonk, I place so much attention to quality work and the subtlest of detail. As such, I have a not-so-small problem with my gargantuan ego. Dash it all, mediocrity has no place near me.

Nevertheless, I work with, no offense, oodles of these: mediocre guys. Their despicable performances always rock the departmental boat mid-sea in what gives mediocrity a new meaning. Never mind they are the loudest at the place of work. For them, showing off is a knack that is matchless.

I have never quite been able to disentangle this maze of how some people always get away with murder. Why so is another question altogether. Perhaps 2017 will be kind enough to reveal this to me and others who find it absurd.

3. Bad guys vs good guys

In real life, or at least in movies, we all know that the good guys always steamroller the bad guys. We have grown holding this view as the unbreakable tenet, at least if morality is anything to go by.

Through the carnage at Kulbiyow and El Adde, the scare at Musée du Louvre, the London stabbing spree earlier this week, the Berlin attack, and, of course, Donald Trump’s historic stunner win and his outrageous and never-ending staple of outbursts, these last few days have pulled some bloody stomach-churning shockers that will take so long to forget.

In all these cases, as you have noticed, bad guys always pummelled good guys. And got away with it. Sad.

And talking of bad guys, Nigel Farage and DTJ are my best bets.

4. Selfie and pouted lips

While in a conversation back in college in 2012, I mentioned “selfie” and my crony’s mouth fell ajar. He had not the deuce heard this before. Selfies have been around for years now. You must recall the Obama selfie moment during Nelson Mandela’s funeral. And of course the hype and heat that this generated.

Perish that though. It is the idea of pouting one’s lips whenever taking a selfie that is eternally disturbing. I suppose I am not the only one who wonders if there exists a mystic connection between a selfie and pouted lips. Some ladies bulge their labials you would think a mudfish has stumbled upon technology.

5. Corruption in Kenya

No conversation about Kenya is complete without this element. The vice is so imbedded into our fabric that it feels virtually immoral not to bribe one’s way out of or into something.

When Monsieur Matiang’i pursued the lords of impunity to the gates of Hades, the whole nation was so shell-shocked, and watched with bated breath you would imagine the apocalypse was finally upon us. But that’s 254 for you. How I hope we could rewrite our narrative.

Perhaps the remaining few months of 2017 will help me understand these.