Nairobi News


He does not like a woman like you!

By JO November 3rd, 2018 2 min read

“Tik tok!! Darn it I’m clocked 25 and I’m still single, aren’t I pretty enough I contour right.”

The common lie every shawty is telling themselves out here but hey, feel free to call me friend I’m about to unleash five reasons why you -so-called-pretty millennial is single. Thank me later!

So why are you really single?

You contour right
Funny as this may sound, it is actually true. We know art is beautiful and it needs no extension to make it more appealing. Many of you are busy drawing faces on face making many suitors question whose face is he really vibing? I mean contour is perfect for your social media but definitely not for a relationship starter pack, so let that kit go!

You no longer have a type
Hey, why blame you? I mean look around you the ratio of men to women is litrally 4: 1. You are just lowering demand to get sales. Please stop. This may sound ironic, however men in the millennial age apparently prefer women with standards and by standards we are not talking educational rather men you interact with.

You cannot be attracting every Tom, Dick and harry, make them all happy and keep them. Men do not fancy a woman who likes everyone , they fancy to be liked alone. So those DMs of you flirting with every male face got to go!

You are available…
Awh!! You love him so much; he calls you run. Are you a pet? Men are funny creatures, they actually prefer when they call you run, only away from them. They like the thrill for the chase. I mean to suggest play hide and seek sometime. Let him miss you. Otherwise you will keep running to him and then he will begin running away from you because he misses the chase.

He will be hiding and you friend will be doing the seeking and that my friend is not fun. So block the guy, let him search!

You are a sweet angel …
I know what you are all thinking , what’s this person saying; only the sweet girls get the guy. Sit down, let me school you. First, I’ll have you know angels are lesser beings than humans so if he calls you angel he got to go!

Secondly there is no harm being sweet, I mean you are sweet enough to let him walk over you however he pleases, you are so sweet you cannot let him go. Sweet girls are only amazing for parents, period. Do not be a sweet girl, it makes you submissive and submission is boring too. We all leave boring people, it’s a no brainer!

You prefer his company…
He is your guy after all. He needs to understand and feel your presence. I’m pretty sure you’re equally reading the sarcasm in the above. He likes you but he is not your husband. He needs to breath, you need to breath too. Go make friends. Stop suffocating your man.

He will leave to get fresh air because one way or another what’s the need of sticking around if he will come back and find you? Think about it females he should tame you not you doing the reverse.

So can you perhaps go for a photo shoot this weekend, I know a perfect spot and photographer. What I’m doing is giving you a life!

Now that I have made you a hard to get , no non-sense female, let me go get rid of my kit!