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Help! My mum-in-law is making advances

Dear Michael,

I am in very urgent need of help. My mother-in-law has been making advances towards me. I only used to hear of such things in the media.

I am happily married and have never considered cheating on my wife. I have a very good relationship with my in-laws and do not wish to stir up any trouble.


I fear my father-in-law because of his status and influence in society.


Dear Desperate,

At first glance, it is clear you should cut links with your mother-in-law and stay away. But upon further thought, silently keeping away may be perceived differently by your wife, her father and the rest of the family.

Yet, carelessly talking of it would bring disgrace on the larger family. Your first commitment is to your wife and the sanctity of your marriage. Defend both against any threat.

Your mother-in-law’s unfaithfulness to her husband, disrespect and disregard for her daughter and desire to entrap you speak of a selfish person.

Stop entertaining her conversations, and more importantly, even thinking of the possibility of indulging her.

You have a conscience. Listen to it. There will be consequences, which you would be more likely to live through if you believe you are doing the right thing.

My hope is that you don’t end up believing that indulging your mother-in-law will be the right thing.

Stir-up trouble, if need be, in defence of your marriage.

Do you have a pressing personal problem? Seek advice from Michael Oyier at