Nairobi News

BlogCoffee BreakHashtagLifeMust Read

Here are 5 important things to have in common with your partner

When it comes to relationships, having a bit of difference and distance is pretty important, as it lets each individual have a sense of independence, but if you’re too far apart when it comes to core values and goals, your relationship can become complicated.

Disagreeing when it comes to trivial matters doesn’t matter, of course. If your partner, for example, isn’t into reading or going to the movies, it’s no big deal. But if there’s a difference in opinion on how to raise your children or financial planning for the future, it can create tension and potentially lead to a breakup. After all, they’re called dealbreakers for a reason.

The truth is, there really are some non-negotiable opinions and values when it comes to forging a healthy and long-lasting relationship, and below, we list some of the most important things you should have in common with your partner for a successful relationship.

A vision of the future
A couple must share a basic, overall picture of how they’d like for their lives to unfold financially, spiritually, lifestyle-wise, and concerning children. When you have a plan in place, it serves as an irreplaceable ‘true north’ and helps clarify what each partner should be working towards daily, as well as helping the couple clarify how to make some of the tougher decisions in life.

The ability to always be yourself
It should be natural to be yourself around your spouse, with all your good and bad qualities. Whereas many people go through life holding back major pieces of themselves from everyone else, and only sharing what they want seen — when you find your proper partner, they really can ‘see’ you. This backdrop creates a precious opportunity to have truly honest communication and to share love, fears, and hopes without judgment.

The same sense of morality
Morality and shared ethics are a huge part of a committed relationship because, without it, your admiration and the esteem in which you hold your partner will be diminished. Talking about morality and ethics can be tricky, but it should be done early. If you discover that your morals don’t line up with that of your partner, and it’s something you deem to be ‘major,’ then it may well be advisable to let that relationship go.

An emotional connection
A physical attraction is super important (and fun, of course), but you and your SO should agree that there’s an emotional connection there too for the relationship to head to and stay at the next level. If the person that you’re in a relationship with is only interested in physically connecting with you or that’s the only sphere it appears the two of you are connecting, it doesn’t bode well for the long-term. Someone who envisions a future with you and who shares your desire for lasting love will want to get to know you on a multitude of levels and will verbally express an interest in doing so.

A Financial Plan
Of course, you should both have your say in your finances, but if you’re in a committed relationship, you’ll want to be on the same page for future larger expenses whether you are just getting serious or have been married for years. I can’t count the number of relationships I’ve seen break up because two people respect money differently, especially when those people are theoretically trying to plan a future together. Savers rarely end up doing well with spendthrifts, unless the savers make so much money that they can cover the actions of their partner. This doesn’t mean you have to make the same amount of money, just that you both agree on the place it has in your lives.