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How side pieces convince themselves their affair partners love them

“Why monopolise a good man all to yourself? Some men are meant to be shared, and for that reason, I strongly advocate for polygamy. I support polygamy because there are some men like Samidoh who are too much for one woman. But then, why do you want to keep a good man all to yourself? No, some men are meant to be shared, just accept it,” said nominated Senator Karen Nyamu as she spoke on being vernacular singer Samidoh’s mistress last weekend.

This was controversial Senator Karen Nyamu’s rationalisation of being Samidoh’s second partner, after they both actively and publicly humiliated his wife, Edday Nderitu, forcing her to relocate to America with her children permanently.

And while Edday maintained her silence after announcing she would never be part of a polygamous marriage, much less with Karen Nyamu, the politician has been spending time on mainstream and social media talking about her illicit affair with Samidoh, claiming she will never leave him because they now share two children.

Nairobi News now attempts to look into how side pieces- mistresses and misters- convince themselves that their affair partners love them, even though they are still legally bound to their spouses.

In the first instance, as Karen Nyamu once did in the past, some of them tend to use the presence of any kids sired during the affair as evidence of their love.

Like Karen, she believes Samidoh will always stay by her side because they have two kids together, and he already has three other children with his wife.

After all, a man will never abandon his children, right? What of their mother? She continues to defend herself against public criticism, saying that she, too, is a mother and a woman like Edday and deserves the same treatment as her Samidoh, if not better.

Another method some side pieces use to convince themselves of this love is the ugly words uttered by their lovers against their spouses. Take, for example in the case of a mistress, she will link any love and affection directed towards her to the alleged misbehavior of her lover’s wife.

The more the wife allegedly misbehaves, the more her husband will love his mistress. This is their illogical thinking- that they would be more loved because they are better than the wife. But then, men and women lie.

They will say anything to get what they want. How some side pieces arrive at this thinking is wanting.

Additionally, some side pieces link the amount of time they spend with their lovers as a sign that they are loved compared to their spouses.

Some will believe that because their lovers see them everyday, spend every weekend with them, spend money on them and dote on them, they are loved. But you see, this is simply novelty- something new and exciting.

A side piece is exciting. For them, they might link such behaviors to budding love but to the affair partner, its simply a means of blowing off steam from long working days or taking a break from a monotonous daily lifestyle.

It does not mean they are in love… and when this excitement ends, eventually, if not caught, they always go back home.

They say the first rule of being in an affair is not falling in love with your affair partner.

Don’t catch feelings and don’t have expectations because many of them do not have intentions of leaving their spouses. They have invested too much of their lives into their homes and families.

There is never any love, and if there ever was a shred of it, they would have been introduced (without asking to be introduced) as ‘assistant spouses’, not kept in the dark and hidden like rats beneath a garbage bin. Well, unless you are controversial, vulgar and outspoken; and intend on forcing yourself on a married person, that is…