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Is it a curse? Love’s elusive quest for high-achieving women

I like to believe that the idea of successful (having achieved fame, wealth, or social status) women finding it hard to find love or the possible fact that it could be a curse is a subjective viewpoint because finding love can be challenging for anyone, regardless of their level of success or gender. 

Nonetheless, a rather peculiar paradox persists; successful women often still find it surprisingly difficult to find love as per general observation. Behind the veil of accomplishments and accolades lies a hidden struggle that deserves our attention and understanding. 

One thing I have come to realize, however, is that among other reasons there could possibly be for successful women to have “bad luck” in pursuit of love is the sense of superiority they command. Women who are successful and independent tend to have a more ‘masculine’ energy. This energy can  appear forceful and portrayed as a need to derive a sense of control in the relationship which can leave some men feeling emasculated or lacking in utility. 

Also read: The Millennial – Stop settling for undefined relationships

Men are taught by their fathers the basic gender roles they should play in a family setting from when they are boys. Dads interact with their sons about achievement and pride being ‘at the top’. These forms of self-measurement are impressed upon boys and men subconsciously, and as they get older, they’re not even fully aware that these are the pressures they have on their shoulders. 

This is a valid explanation for the enduring pressure some men feel to be providers. Where am I going with this? Well, until men can provide for a family, they don’t feel comfortable dating seriously or making lifelong commitment. No matter how much men say they want an equal partner, women who are smart and independent often make men feel emasculated or inferior.

Delving deep into the complex web of emotions, societal expectations, and personal aspirations, we unravel the intricate dynamics that make the pursuit of love an enigma for accomplished women.

The Time Dilemma

One of the significant challenges faced by successful women is the scarcity of time. The pursuit of excellence often demands long hours, extensive travel, and unwavering commitment. Juggling careers, personal aspirations, and social obligations leaves little room for dating and cultivating relationships. The ticking clock becomes a constant reminder of the sacrifices necessary to achieve success, leaving little energy or time for the search for love.

Also read: Gender double standards – Why should a woman’s body count matter more?

The Expectation Factor

Success often breeds high expectations, and accomplished women are no exception. Driven by ambition and intellect, they seek partners who can match their level of achievement and complement their aspirations. However, finding someone who can navigate the delicate balance of supporting and challenging their success can be an arduous task. The fear of settling for less than they deserve, both intellectually and emotionally, becomes a silent deterrent on their quest for love.

The Intimidation Quandary

While success should be a magnet for admiration, it can inadvertently become a source of intimidation. The strength and independence exuded by accomplished women may intimidate potential partners, leading to hesitation or reluctance in pursuing a romantic connection. The societal notion of traditional gender roles further exacerbates this dilemma, leaving many successful women feeling caught between the desire to be loved and the need to be respected for their achievements.

Societal Bias and Gender Stereotypes

Society’s deep-rooted biases and gender stereotypes can cast a shadow over the love lives of successful women. The idea that women should be submissive or play smaller roles in relationships can create hurdles in finding partners who appreciate and value their accomplishments. Breaking free from these preconceived notions requires a paradigm shift in attitudes and a collective effort to challenge and redefine societal norms.

Also read: Kenyan celebs shouldn’t complain about public opinion after oversharing

The Pursuit of Perfection

Perfectionism often accompanies success, and it can seep into the realm of relationships. The constant pursuit of flawlessness can breed an unwillingness to settle or compromise, making it challenging to find a compatible partner. The fear of vulnerability and the desire to maintain control can hinder the formation of deep and meaningful connections.

Limited Dating Pool

Depending on their industry or field, successful women may find themselves in a limited dating pool, particularly if they work in male-dominated sectors. Nowadays you come across many female Engineers, Pilots, Software Developers, and so on. This scarcity of potential partners can further narrow the chances of finding a suitable match, leaving accomplished women feeling isolated in their pursuit of love.

In as much as these are justifiable reasons why successful women above 30 may have difficulty finding a life partner, these factors may vary greatly depending on individual circumstances, and not all successful women experience difficulties in finding love. It is crucial to recognize that love is not a linear journey and that success does not equate to a curse. 

No one should ever have to settle for less than they believe they deserve regardless of scarcity. It may look like a curse only because these women know their worth and respect themselves enough to stay single until they get what piques their desires. 

Also read: Love life tax – How Kenyan celebrities pay for fame