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CITY GIRL: Kenyans have made Twitter pathetic, please shut it down

I am at the cusp of deleting my Twitter account, along with all its 30,000 (plus) followers. I just don’t care. I am on the verge of calling it a day on social media altogether and I am ready to live my life without social media.

I am done with Kenya’s social media and especially that little group of ne’er-do-well’s known as ‘Kenyans on Twitter’ or #KOT.

Ah, you don’t know who KOT is? KOT, or the Kenyans on Twitter, are a bunch of know-it-alls who are experts on everything, from Brexit, to how media should do their job, to people’s personal affairs.

At first, I used to think of KOT as a force to reckon with, you know, a movement of sorts, the radical die-hards who would change this country by the hashtag. I used to think of Kenyans on Twitter as our very own Tahrir Square where we would square out all our differences and emerge as a strong, unified people. How wrong and mistaken I was.

Kenyans on Twitter have become a rogue, mini-nation where hatred and tribalism reigns supreme. The mob has ditched the machetes and taken up tribal insults as a weapon to slay each other down.

As a matter of fact, these Kenyans on Twitter are a national nuisance. A bunch of lobotomised wannabes; a group of cantankerous idlers who mistakenly think that they are so brilliant, so smart and better than any other person.


The Kenyan Twitter scene has become a battleground for egos, where bruised underachievers come to inflate their egos by parading their ill-informed opinions to sound smart, while really, they have nothing between their ears. They are all collectively ignorant idlers with free wi-fi, a lot of time and cheap opinions.

Pathetic lunatics have found a voice on social media to showcase their madness. When you are not dealing with deluded, man-starved, dreadlocked feminists who see evil in every tweet, or food-photographing youngsters, or know-it-all kiherehere loud-mouth journalists, you will encounter the lawyer, economist and accountant types on their high horses.

KOT, generally, are a group of aggressive ‘middle class’ driven by the ideology of a braindead hippopotamus.

They masquerade as ‘concerned citizens’, ‘opinionated middle-class’, ‘ungovernable feminists’  ‘patriotic activists’, or ‘truth-seeking bloggers and pundits’, while really, they are just intellectually dwarfed individuals with smart phones.

KOT have morphed into a gang of tribal bigots, who bully and insult each other on the basis of their last names.

You’d think with their fancy degrees and colorful Twitter profiles that boast of googled superlatives like ‘Kenyan Patriot’ and ‘Global Citizen’ would illuminate their pint-sized brains but you are so wrong. Most of them are little servants of their higher political babas who troll, torment and intimidate those of a different opinion.

Some tweeps, if you may allow me to use their lingua, are guns for hire for their local MPs, you know, tweeting pictures of what their favourite MP has done, complete with a silly hashtags that might have been coined by a daycare goer.


KOT are the single most malicious group of Kenyans to have walked on the face of this country. They rejoice at each other’s downfall and keep armories of screenshots, messages and pictures of people they know nothing about and whose personal lives are totally none of their business.

Their lives are pathetically unimpressive and unhappy, (I have seen some ‘bigwigs’ in real life) that they find a deep sense of satisfaction in other peoples’ misery.

They thrive and brood on their fellow tweeps’ failed marriages, soured relationships, sackings and who knows, even death, and use these misfortunes to torment and taunt each other.

I would not be so worried about KOT if we did not have elections next year. But they have become overbearing and vindictive, so much so that I daresay their tribal and hateful tweets are stoking a furnace of violence in the near future.

If you ask me, the government should do all of us a favour and shut down this thing called Twitter and all its bigoted users during the elections, to give us all peace of mind.

They have proved their unworthiness and nobody needs their tribal diatribes and unsolicited ignorant opinions on anything under the sun. Freedom of expression my foot!