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Love in the age of sexting, the do’s and don’ts

January 30th, 2016 2 min read


Our phones are now a consistent part of our daily existence. They are the main form of communication in romantic relationships. We call, send emails, texts. Then there is sexting which has become really popular with the urban folk. In a nutshell, it is sending sexually explicit material via text message. If you are going to sext, you need to do it properly. Here’s how;

1. Don’t show your face in photos – The first and foremost rule is that you only sext with a person that you trust. That said, sometimes this trust can be broken further down the line. That person that you once trusted could use your photos to get revenge against you. To stay safe, do not include your face in any explicit photos that you take.

2. Don’t drink and sext – Nairobians enjoy their liquor. That said, it is important to constrict your sexting to your sober moments. Otherwise, you will end up having a Brother Ocholla moment. You do not want to send explicit pictures of yourself to your prayer group or to your Mom now, do you?

3. Don’t make it a substitute – As much fun as it is, you ought to be careful not to let sexting replace intimacy in your relationship. If phone sex is all you and your significant other are having, your relationship could be in trouble.

4. Don’t sext too soon – You should wait out a relationship for several weeks or months before going the sexting way. If you sext too soon, you risk watering down your relationship and making it all about sex. Give the relationship some space to grow first.

5. Do stay reasonably sober – If you are going to sext, you will need to stay in the game. Read your partner’s mood and mirror it. If you do not, you may end up ruining relations by sending something that the other person finds inappropriate.

6. Do delete as you go – Before you jump into the deep and murky waters of sexting, you should know that once you send something out there, it can never really be deleted. There is always the risk that it will appear somewhere else. But you should still take measures to protect yourself. Delete all messages and pictures as you go. Your phone could fall into the wrong hands.

7. Delve into your fantasies – Sexting is the perfect opportunity to let your mind take you to all those sexual places you want to go. If it feels right, do not hold back. Let your fantasies run wild.

8. Do keep it short and sweet – This is the very joy in sexting. Sexts should be short and enjoyable. Sending something that your partner has to take a few minutes out to read just ruins the mood. Short sexts on the other hand keep the flow of the conversation moving.