Make it make sense: 5 things women ‘do’ to push their men away
Before the truth is known, many women tend to get blamed for the breaking up of a romantic relationship. And sadly, this has become normalized.
A woman got abused? What did she do to provoke her abuser? Did a relationship end? What did the woman do? It has become the default setting to look at the woman and find faults in her to explain why bad things happened to her and her relationship.
But then, once the dust settles and the truth comes out, you find that either the man was at fault, or they were both at fault. Nairobi News now looks at some of the things biased people accuse women of doing to push their men away:
- Having expectations of them- Women are often told not to have expectations of the men they get into romantic relationships with because they will be disappointed. Women are expected to get into relationships already guarding their hearts because some men were brought up or lived their lives without expectations being placed on them. They were not created to live up to expectations. How annoying and difficult! But dare the day come when she voices her expectations to her man? That is the day drama will unfold, and the relationship will be dragged over hot coals. Watch him bounce all over the walls and out the door before the second expectation is spelled out for them.
- Holding them accountable for their actions- Some men do not like being held accountable. Again, they attribute this to being born male and expected to lead society- including relationships- without being questioned. It has become a stereotype for men to do as they please and throw tantrums when they are held accountable for their bad behaviors, often turning the tables on their women as the cause behind their actions. Most women are expected to turn a blind eye and not hold them accountable, but the minute they do, they’ve brought about the doom of the relationship. And end up getting blamed for it.
- Giving him ultimatums- Millions of women across the world like order and knowing what is up from down. They do not do well with the limbo in which many men thrive. Women like knowing what to expect, when to expect it, how to expect it and for how long to expect it. When they feel that this information is not forthcoming, they tend to issue ultimatums- often to get their man off his backside and moving so that the relationship can have some semblance of progress. But many men do not like this. Being issued with ultimatums. Being told to do something or they would face certain consequences. Again, the relationship begins hitting the rocks because the man does not feel like complying with requests and ultimatums that would actually be beneficial to him in the long run. Eventually, the woman gets blamed for the relationship ending.
- Working hard and succeeding in life- Women who work hard on their careers and on themselves tend to be considered a threat by inferior men. Their attempts to secure freedom in certain aspects of their lives, such as financial freedom, end up being summed up and misinterpreted as her competing with their man. No one knows how these two instances came to be mutually exclusive, but this is where women often find themselves. And once the inferior man realizes he has nothing to hold over the woman, he begins blaming her for things. When she decides to finally leave the relationship, she ends up getting blamed for pushing her man away and breaking them up. Make it make sense?
- Not wanting to live their lives according to their man’s say-how- These same inferior men then come up with ideas of how they want their women to live, to dress, to act, and so forth. They basically want romantic inmates, not romantic partners. And while some women find this sociopathic jealousy appealing, this is abuse. Wise women eventually open their eyes and become alive to the fact that they are being controlled and often bend their wills to appease their men. Woe unto her the day she decides to leave, and society, not understanding her plight, begins blaming her for breaking up a good relationship just because her man cared “a little bit too much” about her.