Nairobi News


MEN: You can only have one of these; home maker or career woman

By NAIROBI WIFE September 8th, 2018 2 min read

I have been having serious arguments with colleagues and friends on the priorities people should have in life.

The age-old philosophy that one should never buy and park a car at a rental house was one of the main topics that was a bone of contention.

“I have a friend who fell into some money some time back. Can you imagine that he went out and bought an apartment for Sh8 million,” the conversation started.

“Ati an apartment?! With Sh8 million, you can buy a good piece of land in Ruiru, build a good three-bedroom house for Sh4 million then you buy a nice car and have some money left over,”another would chime in.

I listened quietly to the deliberations and gave my take on the matter.

“At least your friend bought an apartment. It’s somewhere he can call home. I would have bought a Toyota Landcruiser V8,” I said.

Today, a few hours before penning this article, some colleagues were telling me what the ideal situation for every husband would be at home.

“Every man wants his wife to do the cooking for him and to do his laundry. The house help should not be cooking for him or washing his shirts,” my married male colleague said.


“Exactly!” agreed another.

I did not hesitate to tell them that they are completely wrong and backward in their thinking.

The second one had even said that the wife should cook even if she gets home at 9pm.

Kwani these men are how heartless? And what will they be doing as mama is cooking and scrubbing shirts into the wee hours of the morning for him? Snoring noisily in bed?

I told them that this would not be possible. Why hire someone to help with the house work, then come home and do it for them?

Were we getting married for our culinary skills and ability to wash clothes or was it because of what we can bring into the family, financially and otherwise?


I let them know that they can only have one of two things, the home maker that will have ample time to wash for them, cook for them even wash them if they so wish or the professional woman who is contributing to the family’s bottom line and eventual wealth.

You cannot have the two, unless you have two different women!

I have come to realise that every family, every home, every individual is different. What is the point of taking years to build a home when you can afford to buy it in one go?

Why not enjoy the finer things in life when you still can, and yet when you die you will leave it all behind, for family members to squabble over?

Let us each respect one another’s ideas, ideals and priorities. Why do we put other people down for decisions that they made for themselves, that do not affect us in any way?

Let us learn to live our own lives, whether frivolously or frugally.

At the end of the day, all the things that we will acquire in this life, we will not be able to take into the next. Life is too short to keep scrutinizing everybody else’s life.