Men should marry three wives to have peaceful life, KNUT boss says
Polygamy is not for the faint-hearted. It has its challenges but also its advantages.
For a man to marry two or more wives, he must at least have a stable job to provide for his wives and children.
In the Luo community, polygamy, known locally as doho, has its own rules.
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Traditionally, the first wife, called mikai, must give her husband’s permission before he brings another wife home.
Another principle of multiple wives is the sharing of resources. If the husband dies, his property is divided equally between the wives.
Having multiple wives also helps to gain respect from community members. A man with multiple wives is usually given priority for community leadership.
However, polygamous marriage has a downside that no one ever talks about. This is especially true for men with two wives.
According to Collins Oyuu, secretary general of the Kenya National Union of Teachers (Knut), those who want to have more than one wife should consider marrying three.
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He explains that having two wives can sometimes cause a man pain and make his home unstable.
“When two women meet, they can plan how to hurt you and you have nowhere to run,” said Mr Oyuu.
He was speaking at a funeral in Kasipul, Homa Bay County.
According to the unionist, marriage is difficult, especially for a polygamous man with a couple of wives who he says sometimes collude to torture their husband.
But he says one can overcome the challenges by marrying three wives.
He argues that three wives can never agree on the same thing, but two can.
“If two wives decide to attack you, the other will defend you. There must always be one wife to stand by your side,” Mr Oyuu said.
His explanation is what the Court of Appeal and the Supreme Court use to decide cases where an odd number of judges sit and decide a case.
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This was echoed by the Luo Council of Elders chairman, Nyandiko Ongadi, who says that having three wives ensures peace at home.
“If two wives fight, the third one will mediate and bring peace between them,” he said.
He therefore advises men to have three or more wives if they want to practice polygamy.
The Luos have no rule on how many wives a man should have.
But according to Mr Nyadiko, the more wives a man has, the more comfortable he will be.
The elderly man explained that women can assign themselves roles in a household, thereby reducing the pressure on one woman to do all the household chores.
He also said that if one spouse is ill, the other(s) can take care of their husband and children.
“I do not encourage having one wife because it has many disadvantages. But polygamy should only apply to people who can take care of several wives at the same time,” said Mr Nyandiko.
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