MY STORY: How my Naija husband saved me from my monster Kenyan mum
I am one of those people who say they got pregnant by accident. I got pregnant at 19 just in my second year of university. I didn’t expect to get pregnant because I took the necessary precautions.
From the beginning I wasn’t sure in my mind whether I should keep the baby. The father had already denied me. I didn’t have a father figure in my life so I didn’t know what to do.
I thought of how I was going to tell my mom, I didn’t know how she would react, especially being that I am the first and only child. I didn’t even know where to start. I felt I had already let her down.
My worst fear became a reality; my mom became harsh with me. It was like a switch in her flipped. She even refused to be associated with me.
She didn’t want a kid who was in my kind of situation; forced to drop out of school in second year. She abused me, verbally and physically.
I had never seen this side of my mother. We only had each other and I thought that would never change. Yet there she was, the one person I thought would always be there for me, turning her back on me.
Everything was too much. I ran away. I had to escape because even my own mother wanted me to get rid of the baby. I had already made up my mind that I was going to have it.
With some money saved up, I decided to start a small business. I prepared chips and crisps and sold them. I rented a shack and used it as my house, paying Kshs. 1,500 rent every month. I had to survive. I couldn’t let my baby down.
Through a friend I found out my aunt had relocated to Nairobi. I was unsure on how she would react to me being pregnant. She was very close to my mom. I took the risk and went to see her; I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
My aunt decided to secretly help me because she knew I didn’t want my mother getting involved. She used to visit me in my shack, every day until I gave birth.
Giving me advice and checking on how baby and I were doing. She was the saving grace that I badly needed. I had no one. She gave me the love and care that my own mother denied me.
When I finally gave birth, I couldn’t imagine that I wanted to get rid of someone so innocent. I imagined how I would have felt if I got an abortion. It made me hate myself for a while. I had to find a way to love myself again. It helped that no one in the area knew my story. They just saw me as a stranger with a baby.
Then I met a man. He always wondered how such a young girl was so stressed. I told him my story, he told me his. I kept on asking myself why anyone would be interested in someone like me.
As time went by, we became friends. I didn’t have friends. I had been rejected by everyone and was raising a baby on my own.
He was nice to me and wanted to take care of me. He sort of felt sorry for me. He gave us-my baby and I- an apartment to live in. He also sent me money. Enough money to ensure the baby got everything she needed. I was even able to finish my education.
He took me to Nigeria and gave me money to start my own salon business. When he asked me to marry him, how could I refuse?