Nairofey drama: Kenyan celebs weigh in on women gifting themselves, crediting their men instead
It all began when YouTuber Nairofey claimed that her husband and father to her children had taken over her Gmail and YouTube accounts and locked her out.
Their marital drama spilled over onto social media, where they traded accusations with Nairofey, claiming she had been tricked into signing a prenuptial agreement that would see her husband get 50% of all income associated with the Nairofey brand.
The most explosive part of their drama was when Nairofey claimed that she bought herself luxurious gifts, including a car, and often credited her husband with purchasing them to prop up his ego.
She also claimed he lied to her about working with the United Nations. On the other hand, her husband claimed she was a promiscuous woman but did not provide any receipts to prove this.
As Kenyans followed this drama, the major talking point was why women bought themselves gifts and often credited the men in their lives for buying them.
Radio presenter Esther Mwende Macharia chimed in on the conversation, wondering what problem in particular women had when they bought things and pretended that it was their significant others who bought them.
“When I bought myself flowers and had them delivered to me, Deejay Exclusive laughed at me. I feel we as ladies need to show ourselves this love and affection so that we don’t wait for our baes to do so. If they can, great! If not, let’s accept and not feel like we have to fake it for our online in-laws,” said Thee Mwalimu Rachel.
In response, Mwende Macharia said, “Imagine if you had posted that Mercedes Benz of ours and then you’d said ‘thank you babe’ and so on; after all the money you had paid…but treating yourself is of importance.”
Cebbie Koks, the sister of Kenyan singer Akothee, also chimed in on the matter, adding that women should not be blamed for always crediting their men even when they did nothing.
“About the discussion flaring up on social media ‘why women gift themselves but give credit to their men’ To weigh in, don’t blame it on women when they gift themselves and say, “My manz bought this.”
Cebby noted, “High self-esteem and self-worth – society has taught us a man must be involved. Generally, we top as Charade Princesses to belong and feel part of the ecosystem. Firstly, we must agree the deepest craving of every human is to belong, to be accepted, and to be acknowledged.
Therefore in a society where a woman’s hard work automatically goes to a man, why not, ‘Ooh yeaaa! He bought me this and that and those and dhuus!’
On one hand, it is a plot to make men feel like men. On the other hand, it makes women feel more important, loved, and adored especially when society says, “Wow” at it.”
She continued, “I will speak as a woman because I have never been a man. When you love your man, to elevate him, you are told, you must speak and act in a manner that elevates a man’s self-worth, self-esteem, and importance.
It’s only through a man’s high self-worth and self-esteem that society recognizes and appreciates a woman’s existence. It creates a sense of security for a woman while massaging the male ego. But wait a minute…Notice how a woman’s success must always be easily explained by the society.
At the work place, she slept her way up! At school, she is favored by male teachers! In a marriage setup, it must be the husband. When you are well-kempt, credit goes to the man.
When you say you bought a car, society will credit an unknown man, and if he exists, it goes to him. In Church, pastors will say, ‘Never let people know you pay bills. Say it’s your husband’.
A woman’s efforts in the eyes of society will never be hard work, innovation, value creation, or industrious. It has to be hinged to an unknown man. It’s the reason the craving to belong; to be seen as dating highly valued men who spoil us deepens. It’s the sense of belonging.
And for us to belong, we elevate men and keep them up there. Don’t blame women! Instead, let’s deconstruct the conversation and debunk the fallacy that a woman can never be successful without a man,” said Cebbie Koks on January 24, 2023, a day after the Nairofey drama broke.