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Ni mchafu: Why men find messy women a turnoff

By Winnie Onyando September 12th, 2023 2 min read

Gender roles were clearly defined when growing up in African households.

While these structures had their limitations, they provided discipline and order in many lives.

Many millennials ensured that their children, especially daughters, understood the importance of personal hygiene and homemaking.

However, in recent times, the ongoing fight for gender equality has led some women to neglect the traditional aspects of being a woman.

While some men appreciate a carefree and lively attitude in women, they still expect women to clean up after the fun.

Unfortunately, many men have come to realize that a significant number of women who enjoy the fun aren’t keen on tidying up afterward; they expect the host to clean up or find somebody to do it.

During the era of millennials, many took it upon themselves to ensure that the homes where they had sleepovers were left clean and well-maintained.

However, GenZ often prefers the host to handle the cleaning after the fun.

While many GenZ women embrace a carefree lifestyle involving drinking, smoking, and having a good time, they quickly discover that men enjoy the fun but can’t stand a messy woman.

Many men expect women to maintain their feminine qualities, as these qualities are what initially attracted them, along with physical attributes.

Character is equally important to many men.

Women often find it perplexing when men have fun with them but then choose to settle down with someone else, often someone more traditional and sometimes even from a rural background.

Many argue that they can’t marry someone who drinks and smokes as heavily as they do, as it leads to situations where both spouses are intoxicated, posing concerns about the well-being of their children.

While both men and women deal with hangovers similarly, by being messy and disorganized, men generally prefer a partner who can maintain sobriety and order.

Men feel it’s not a competition.

In the ongoing conversation about gender equality, particularly in a culture that is heavily male-dominated, it’s important for both genders to uphold their values while seeking fun and entertainment.

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