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Public admission can save relationship

By Njoki Chege November 11th, 2013 2 min read

Usually when problems arise, couples seek counseling from a professional, but in recent times social media has become the mediator to solve relationship problems.

Just recently, a cheating husband was able to earn back his wife by posting a note on his timeline admitting his infidelity.

Ivan Lewis begged his estranged wife Sonya Gore to reestablish their relationship after she found out he committed adultery during the first 10 months of their marriage.

Instead, Gore asked him to move out of their home.

After many failed attempts to get her back, Gore told Lewis she would reconsider their relationship if he posted a public message stating how trifling he was during their marriage.

Gore wrote the note:

“I cheated on my wife!!! (and she was ugly)”

Lewis posted a picture with himself and the message, telling his friends and followers he must receive 10,000 “likes” before Gore would accept him back.

Thanks to his followers, Lewis received nearly 15,000 “likes” and hundreds of people shared his apologetic photo.

The highlight of Lewis’s act of making it right with his wife was the feedback the couple received. Despite the supportive “likes” there were followers who believed the couple should not have made their business public.

University of San Diego Professor Jaclyn Cravens who studies social media infidelity claims the reason why people share what happens throughout their relationship is due to the need of feeling validated.

Also, people communicate through social media as a mean of therapeutic release.

Feel hurt, angry

Professor Cravens says: “You’re entitled to feel the way you feel. Your partner cheated on you. You should feel hurt. You should feel angry. You should feel mad. So I think we go on social media and Facebook these days and seek out the likes and if someone likes my status or agrees with me, they hear what I am saying. If you think about what infidelity does to our relationships, it kind of takes away that validation that our partner cares about us and wants to be with us. So if we’re not feeling validated in our primary relationship, we go to social media to seek out that validation.”

Regardless of what followers and sociological research believes, Gore and Lewis do not care what others have to say. The couple is set on enjoying a new beginning in their relationship; Gore says:

“I don’t care about what people thought of him by doing that because he got a lot of slack about it, but it didn’t bother him and I see that as love because he’s not embarrassed at all. I think that’s true love. If it’s true love, you should be embarrassed by it.”

Lewis is preparing to move back into his home with Gore.

“It feels good, man. It feels real good.”