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‘She -A-Boujee-Mechanic’

By JO November 2nd, 2018 2 min read

You know the common saying, when you look at me is probably because I’m looking at you too. Well here goes; okay I lied there’s no saying like that, I created that but with reason.

Kenyans are not only peculiar but also over the top in a manner not so common but highly ridiculous and I mean this by every sense of the word. Oh, I’ll tell you why, lucky for you I’m a good story teller!

Wait, you do not blow your own trumpet; well that is sad and completely delusional. I do not relate!

The Nairobi rains are a blessing, I mean when it rains it pours. How sublime is that? It was just a week ago that sunscreen was running out of stock now we are all competing for the cheap umbrellas in Moi Avenue. What’s life?

CAR MISHAPS

With rains come traffic, with traffic comes car mishaps and yes I’ve never been a victim of both circumstances. Well until let’s assume the expensive car I was in decided to break down. We will just pretend I’m female.

As road character states when your car out plays you please put it outside the road. (Okay, this too is a lie!). I followed my own petty rule and I do not know how but I managed to park my ‘expensive automobile ‘on the side.

In my mind I claimed that I was perfectly dressed for an occasion to attract a MALE samaritan , kindly note the caps. It is a tough world, single and car wrecked ..plus the rain. Anyone would prefer a better day than that.

Long story short it had been over an hour and thirty since I had placed my dear self on the road trying to hail at a samaritan, and I need to insist that not even the tiny red dress helped. Forget the dress even the hair did me no justice.

They all ogled at me just not enough to be of help. I could understand we hate the rains, I mean its a Milano suit who is trying to get it wet?

In my dire pity party, I got into my car wondering what next. Then as if fate knew I needed a shot of something or perhaps a blanket; a cheaper car pulled up. In my head I was praying that the gentleman coming out of the car is not about to preach to me “the you guy my guy my weekend was hectic” sermon.

SEXIEST FEMALE MECHANIC

Well, God does hear our prayer because a really lovely lady in better stilletos than mine walked out of the car gracefully and came to me with such intent to help. I was amused. I mean she could easily be the sexiest female mechanic in town.

At this juncture the female samaritan was indeed a deserved trophy; well until she asked “ma’am would you be having a spare tyre!”

As you can tell by now none helped the other. What I’m trying to say is I’m glad I’m writing this, sipping my coffee from the comfort of my home, hoping where I left my car is a safe harbor I could visit tomorrow and pick my expensive automobile.

Oh what of the lovely mechanic? Well turns out she was a slay queen returning someone’s car that she had borrowed for a weekend out with the main!