Nairobi News


Beware CBD drunkards, she’s got rainy skills

By JO March 23rd, 2018 2 min read

Rain, rain go away, come back another day. The recent heavy pouring around Nairobi has caused a major shift of events.

We all know how much Nairobi dwellers cannot stand the rain. For the women it could be fear of shrinking of the fake weaves, for the men I’m yet to find out if it’s fear of water.

In hope of shielding myself from the ruthless falling of the rain, I somehow found myself in an entrance to a club. What! You do not drink midweek? You must have a ‘good boss.’

The club was surprisingly full for 4pm. Clearly the club owners whose floors do not flood are grateful for a ‘good season’.

I prefer observation than indulgence, I therefore found a comfort zone at the bar. I was engrossed in my drink when I spotted something rather interesting. A certain lady was dancing with a gentleman who seemed pretty excited. I would not blame him the lady was dashing and I mean it in every sense of the word.

The gentleman was pretty drunk and he kept tripping and tumbling over the lady, who was very patient with him as she kept picking him up. This time around as she was picking him up, she picked something else from him, his phone.


I looked at it as a genuine gesture but she instead kept it in her bag. The douche guy then decided to stumble again and this time the wallet found it’s way to the same bag. The third time the girl overreacted by slapping him. I did not see this coming. Even the drunk man seemed to sobered up for a moment and grabbed her by the arm.

Okay! Drunkards in the CBD first thing, you do not get violent on a dashing lady in a club, this will get really ugly on you buddy. The lady started screaming claiming he is hurting her and of course every able ‘fisi’ stood up in her defense. Before I knew it, it was a club fight and the girl who was being fought over is nowhere in sight.

The second thing, drunkards in the CBD, do not hang around a club fight, find your feet and move. I followed my own advise and dashed from the club as prompt as I could.

Reaching outside, I find my dashing friend, my very able fight calatyst luring yet another man. Kumbe alikuwa job. Such rain like skills, where do these women get the training and better yet the confidence?

I decide to mind my own business and remember that this is Nairobi. Evey season – whether sunny or rainy – is a money maker. Plus her opportunistic nature favors all of her odds.

Thank goodness it’s now drizzling. It’s about time to move to another joint and find yet another interesting fracas!