FAMILY: Sorry ladies, Gathoni wa Muchomba is right; polygamy is an African ‘thing’
I don’t want to be the one casting this last stone at Gathoni wa Muchomba’s sentiments about polygamy because trust me most of you have already done that from the reactive comments I was following online, but one thing I have learnt from the whole roundup is that the boy child is very lucky.
I remember just the other day I was actually admiring and thinking about this creature we call ‘man’.
Ladies, have you ever wondered how it would feel to ‘pee’ while standing and doing it literally anywhere? How it would feel going around without bra’s (ooh!! bras drive me crazy)?
Have you ever fantasized about the ‘burden’ of having sex being just ‘coming’, without worrying afterwards if you’ll miss your next period or wear panty liners because the sperms are actually flowing out?
Don’t get me wrong ladies. I love being a woman and the whole campaign about women empowerment is what we needed and this is becoming a dream come true in the world of women and independence.
I know that most women would react with so much anger and disappointment to the thought of sharing their husbands with another wife.
I tend to believe that we are raised to expect and claim full attention of one man with whom we ought to build up a life-long relationship, raise children and, presumably, live happily ever after.
Yet, people like wa Muchomba not only talk strongly about polygamy, but also encourage it.
Monogamy is a Mzungu and religious concept even though a few men in the religious setting have unmistakably demonstrated that even the sanctified are not immune to the desires of the body.
Men always itch to have an extra woman, no matter how good or satisfying the first one is.
I don’t want to go much into history, but remember Ogwella Akuku aka Akuku Danger; the man who was Kenya’s ultimate polygamist? He perfectly fits the bill of the traditional male folk.
He married more than 100 women in his lifetime and sired nearly 200 children. In due course, his brood had multiplied to such an extent that he established two elementary schools. He also set up a church for his expanding family to attend. See, how else would you describe a responsible man?
I had a discussion some guys I meet at a book club and when I brought up the subject of polygamy they seemed to support wa Muchomba.
But wait! Look at our very own Rev Timothy Njoya’s reaction.
“Gathoni wa Muchomba is a believer in misogyny;takes women like land as prolongations of male genitalia, the more wives a man has the more testis he has and the longer his penis/es.”
Mmmmhhh!!! I actually had to swallow my comment about that.
If it were not for that slight error of judgment, men would still be openly polygamous. Presuming that men were in fact meant to be monogamous, why are they still being attracted and tempted by other women after being married or in a relationship?
So I think people should quit judging wa Muchomba for what she said. If men were not sleeping around then this whole discussion wouldn’t be there in the first place.
Truth be told, isn’t it more honorable for a man to go down the polygamy route than the hypocritical one of being married to one wife, yet being physically and sometimes even emotionally involved with a few other women?
Most educated women have blamed wa Muchomba because they do not understand why any self-respecting woman would accept second-wife status. In fact, some believe that polygamy was invented by men so they could have more sex, and that women get nothing out of it.
I have however come to the conclusion that polygamy is in fact the perfect solution for a career-driven woman, a woman who does not want to sacrifice her life for a man, a woman who has no delusions about her capabilities to be the submissive, subdued and domesticated superstar that most first wives aspire to be.
This is actually perfect for you independent women who have no delusions about taking care of a grown man as if he is a helpless child, all in the name of having a husband.
That you don’t have to worry about cooking, cleaning and all that. After all the second wife should do all that work. Ama namna gani my friends?
As much as I seem to support polygamy I think some of these men we call ‘husbands’ are biting off more than they can chew.
As a woman, does it mean I’ll get my conjugal rights when you are done with the ‘other woman’? What if we both need your attention at the same time?
I know most young people call it ‘threesome’ but it doesn’t apply in most of our undiscovered dictionaries. Does that mean even I would be inclined to get it elsewhere or perhaps ‘Ben 10’ the youngies?
All said and done, this whole wa Muchomba polygamy crusade needs a lot of thought. We should consider what we have known as normal and the right thing and go back to the natural sane way of life.
This only means that this triangle will never be a comfortable structure.