Nairobi News


You cheated, now what?

By NAIROBI NEWS November 26th, 2016 2 min read

For a lot of people, before it happens, the idea of your partner cheating seems like the end of a relationship. What happens when cheating actually occurs in your relationships? And what if you are the one that cheated?

Does cheating always spell the end of a relationship or is there something that can be done? Here are a few tips;

1. Do not assume that its over – The worst thing you can do after cheating is giving up. The truth is that while it will be a blow to any relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you should break up. You can still work through it. Believe that.

2. Before you tell them – Before admitting to your partner that you cheated, first be sure of the reason behind your motivation. Do you want out of the relationship, do you want to go on with your partner? Are you simply feeling guilty? If you know why you want to admit to it, you will know how to steer the conversation.

3. Do not blame – Even if you feel like your partner pushed you to cheat, do not under any circumstances blame them for your cheating. Whatever the circumstances, cheating was a decision you made so own it.

4. Don’t blabber – What happens when you start blabbering when talking to your partner about your affair is that you will end up giving them all the sordid details of the affair which will only hurt them. Keep the conversation brief, do not be carried away by emotion.

5. Don’t expect sympathy – Sometimes, your partner really is partly to blame for the affair. Maybe they were never home or maybe they withdrew from you emotionally. Still, do not expect sympathy from them because when you decided to have an affair, you decided to hurt them.

6. Make sure it will not happen again – If you want to stay in your relationship even after your infidelity, make sure you know why you cheated. If it is something within you or in the relationship, fix it before you go ahead in the relationship.

7. Trust will take time – If you cheated, then it will be unrealistic for you to expect them to forgive you instantly. Trust takes time. They may question you and whereabouts, give them time.

8. You can move on – If the two of you decide that the best option is for you to move on, then begin the process promptly. Hanging onto old feelings will only drag the process and hurt everyone involved.