Nairobi News


Vanessa Mdee: I’ve been battling alcoholism secretly

Vanessa Mdee has opened up about her struggle with alcohol.

The Tanzanian singer and songwriter, in her podcast titled One on One with Vanessa Mdee, talks about family, love, music and battling alcoholism and the difficulties of being an artiste in a secular world.

The Wet singer said that for the better part of 2019, she drank herself to sleep and asked people around her to cover up for her.

“I drank myself to sleep every night. I am not proud of it but it is my truth and I know there are people who need to hear this. I was lying to people around me to cover up and to keep the facade alive,” she narrated.

In the podcast, she told her fans that she wanted to let them know the truth because she didn’t want to live a candy-coated life.

Candy-coated life

“I became a person of horrible choices. I couldn’t recognise myself anymore because I woke up every day trying to just get by and I don’t want to just get by anymore. More than ever, I had moments of anxiety and moments of depression, I had moments of I don’t know what to do next because this pressure is unnatural for a human being. And what comes after that? This may come as a shock to many because I hid it so well but I was depressed and an alcoholic,” she confesses.

She adds that she had a perfect life on the outside, but inside, she was dying.

“This is my truth and me letting you into this space because I don’t want to live a candy-coated life anymore. I became a robot and I have no desire to be a robot or be unhappy anymore, because that’s what I was, unhappy. I had moments of we are enjoying this, I had moments of this is fun, I had moments of this is a beautiful day,” Mdee adds.

Though she says that she is highly favoured and blessed, her fans should not expect her doing music or any related events because she has no desire of it anymore.

“I have no desire to do anything that is music industry-related, I have no desire to go to another award show, to keep up a facade, I have no desire to be a pseudo person which I truly became and I could not recognise myself anymore,” the singer says.

Last year, while judging East Africa Got Talent show, the singer confessed that she was struggling with clinical blindness after watching a blind man perform.