Nairobi News


BLOG: The Kenyan voting habit stinks to the high heavens!

Kenyans are a fake lot. Sit easy, and I will demonstrate why.

The events of the last few days have left me a petrified Kenyan. Not apprehensive because of my own sake. But for our country.

The other week, Kenyans thronged polling stations to usher in the devil himself, in what amounts to a national goof.  It may be unnoticeable now, but by nominating characters whose names are almost synonymous with graft and other unspeakable ills to run for office, we have promoted the same ill ideals we always claim to fight against.

From tribal demagogues to grandmaster fraudsters. From lousy-mouthed bigots to people of no worthy appeal at all. Such are our acclaimed heroes and heroines. Could the tale of a country be more disheartening?

We overhauled county governance for being corrupt and thriftless, I should suppose, and now we are at the brink of handing the reigns of leadership to enemies of our country. How hollow a move could be! If you ask me, we have slid through the trapdoor to hell.

Dear Kenyans, do not be appalled on 9/8 when you wake up to find your country hard in the grips of these rapists.

It would be ridiculously ambitious to have hoped that such tempest-tossed nominations in some areas would midwife the birth of any worthy leaders, a subject which, clearly, is not the object of this article.


These people should be grabbed by the scruff of their necks and a noose put around their necks and justice served. I am no sadist, so to speak. But I wish I were.

There is a strong argument that these people have never been convicted, which, ideally, is true. But they have also never been tried. If you keep abreast of what goes on in the east, particularly in Pyongyang, and even Beijing, as little as a mention in a scandal involving theft from public coffers attracts death. Death by execution. China on her part has elaborate anticorruption mechanisms spearheaded by Sky Net and Fox Hunt operations.

Perhaps this public accountability is what has enabled the eastern world to develop at such terrific rates and remain so sturdy while other economies elsewhere in the world are constantly on their knees.

Back home on the other hand, we are agonisingly lenient to public enemies, individuals who are hell-bent on taking this country to the dogs, if not worse.

Isn’t it befuddling that public enemies should be allowed to run for office, and even more stupefying to have them elected? What message are we trying to put across? Is scandalous the new virtuous? The more doused in grime, the better, the more popular?

It is a national tragedy that corruption is no longer a grave subject in 254. In fact, going by the evident stats, it is as though corruption were a magic garb such that whoever dons in it shoots to instant stardom.

Controversy sells. The dullest dumdum in this town knows as much. Except that corruption and controversy are cuts from different cloths. But upon what premise such people manage to command a following despite their blotted persons is intriguing.


Today, being elected and, worse, appointed, to public in Kenya in spite of being so tainted is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The mojo is to have networks, preferably dense ones, and that way (I can’t resist the cliché) you are home and dry.

Have you ever wondered why bad shots get press all the time? Good or bad press, but press nonetheless? While Kenyans united in condemning the election of DJT, these same people so shamelessly woke up at the crack of dawn to hand well-known rotten people their parties’ nomination tickets. Have we stooped this low?

Don’t fret over it though. It is a viral wave that has been sweeping across the universe. Batten down your hatches, for this is a cult. Illuminati aside, this is even viler. Viler because it is has the support of stable-thinking mortals.

I have absolutely nothing against populist leaders, or perhaps I do, except it is how “regular” people resonate with their sometimes silly ideals that is beyond my ken. Isn’t it ridiculous that one idiot should lure millions of level-headed people to buy into his tomfoolery?

In a Twitter tirade this week, a distraught Kenyan called for the abolishment of Chapter Six. I think so too. The tired chorus of integrity should be thrown out the window already.

I am no expert worthy of any goddamned while to rule on a matter of this enormity, but we have consigned righteous deeds to the backburner, and elevated wickedness in their place. I am no guard of morality, but we are fast converting into a poisonous creed where everyone and everything is permissible.

That we can redeem ourselves from this jumble are porky pies. Let’s just sit and wait for the apocalypse. I have said before, and repeat I will here and now, that our goose as a country is as good as cooked. Take that to the bank.