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10 most annoying Kenyan ‘non etiquette’ phrases

If you are Kenyan, you’ve most probably been used atleast one of these phrases subconsciously or simply to get yourself around.

1. Utume pamoja na ya kutoa

This is a “crime” we are all guilty of committing one time or the other and it has everything to do with mobile money transfer. Kenyans being Kenyans will often send the exact amount of money owed, giving the receiver no option but to remind the sender to include the withdrawal fee for the transaction.

2. Give me five minutes

If it is a lady who tells you this, then be ready for a long wait. Kenyans are infamous for arriving late to meetings or appointments.

3. I am in a small meeting

Most of the time the truth is, the person just does not want to talk to or see you. It merely an excuse to avoid you.

4. Ingia WhatsApp

Here one will actually call you to tell you to log in to WhatsApp, probably because they have sent you a message. The question is, if you took your time to call me to tell me to log in to WhatsApp, why don’t you just tell me what you wanted to say in the first place.

5. Hata ndio nilikuwa nataka kukupigia

This usually happens to someone who really needs something or information from another person, who is probably taking his/her sweet time to respond.

6. Mine is just brief

Whenever, someone – especially a politician – gives this remark, believe you me, there will be nothing brief about what that person will say. Be ready for lengthy speech or lecture.

7. Niko kwa jam nacome

It is the annoying phrase you will get when you arrive on time and give the other person a call to find out where they are. But you better get comfortable because this is just another excuse by Kenyans who do not know how to keep time.

8. Hii joto ni ya mvua

In this season of extreme temperatures in the country, trust the know-it-all lot that Kenyans are to give an explanation for the weather.

9. Wacha niende nicome

Loosely translates to “let me go, I’ll be back.” If someone tells you this just know they are evading your company.

10. Kata simu nishakuona

When two people are meeting in a public place, the obvious thing to do is to call the other person to find out their exact location. However, while trying to find each other through a phone call, there is always that person who sights you first and instead of giving you a clue as to where they are, asks you to disconnect the phone call since they have already seen you, even as you are remain in the dark about their whereabouts.