City women reveal lamest excuses given by their cheating men
Nairobi women were for the better part of Wednesday comparing notes on some of the lamest excuses given by men caught redhanded cheating .
They camped in the closed Facebook group Chit Chat for Nairobi Mums sharing their encounters with their cheating men.
“Have you ever caught your man cheating and what was the funniest lamest excuse did he give you mpaka ukashindwa anakubebaje? asked one group member.
And these are the responses she got.
“She is a friend and we are just from out and she was not feeling well so she asked if she can come rest a bit,” said one group member.
“Ati he is a counselor he is trying to read that girl’s mind kabla amsaidie na uyo chali alikuwa banker nilicheka tu nikaenda na sijawai rudi nyuma,” commented another group member.
“Ati ni mama wa kufua nguo na ukiangalia ni kaslay queen…Hahaha,” said one group member.
‘RAN FOR HER LIFE’
“Ni girlfriend ya cousin yangu, wacha nimcall uskie. Unalenga tu. Mwingine macho ilikondolewa yote hata hakuongea, the kalady ran for her life,” replied another group member.
“Kem hom smelling a woman perfume kumuuliza he said eti alioga job akaomba workmate lotion yake ajipake then I was lyk since when did u start kuoga job n unafikiria am stupid cjui kutofautisha perfume n lotion the rest is history,” said one group member.
“My man is so faithful he has never cheated ni mimi hucheat actually,” said another group member.
“It’s not what you think, PS: I wasn’t thinking,” said another group member.
“Yes I have. In our home. Na condom ilikua chini. He lied his friend visited him. He slept kwa sitting room. I chased the woman out. And I gave him a beating of his life time. His face had swollen fingers za my slaps. !!!..hapo ndiyo niliamua kumove out na watoto wangu. Never ever,” said one group member.
“I was drunk. I thought ni wewe aki. Vile nilikuona ndio nilinote si wewe. Aki I laughed,” commented another group member.
“hahahahaha..I found a text’the kiss was soo sweet’ kuuliza nikaambiwa ni girlfriend ya rafiki yake anamuuliza aliona wakikiss aje na the boyfriend,” said another group member.
“My ex… Was like hizi nguo nilizipata kwa hii nyumba (alikuwa ameishi like a month kwa hio nyumba) ni colleague alikuwa anaishi so aliniambia beshte yake atakuja kuchukua but since then anasema ako busy atakujia tu… reke nemwo some men thunder strike your testicles,” saind one group member.
“Mimi nliwapata kama ndii wanataka kuanza,si nlislap dem akatoka mbio chali naye ananiambia ati walikuwa wanapiga tu stori nothing happened.ghai!!..Nothing happend juu nlifika kabla ifanyike wat if singekuja si ingehappen.aki wanaume pthoo,i lefted,” wrote one group member.
“Found some ladies short and leggings and he said ni yy huzivaa a freshly used condom na we never used any akasema hajui ilifika aje hapo atauliza bro yake saw a photo of him and a another woman under our sofa only to come back jioni nasikuiona alikuwa ameficha,” said one group member.
“I rem I saw a text akiuliza dem “utamind kunizalia luv” And the idiot had the guts to tell me ati ni wewe nilikua natumia hiyo text by mistake nikamtumia,”said another group member.
“Darling, it is not wat you think, this gal is trying to rape m.” na saa hiyo alikuwa amevaa cd,” said another group member.
“Mimi nilienda kwa nyumb yake majioni bila kumshoo kufika kwa mlango swali ya kwanza aliniuliza nimekuja kufanya nini nikamshoo niondokee niingie nilisense tu kuna kitu apo nikaingia nikapata dem ameketi kwa dining anakunywa wine mimi nikakalia sofa jama akafanya intro ati grace this is Nancy bla nkabia dem pleasure to meet you rem tuko kwa nyumba moja same living room jamaa wasiwasi nikaingia kitchen kupika jamaa akanishoo alikua ashatumana food ya supper ningoje ikuje nikamshoo pigia mwenye umetuma akuje na maziwa nikunywe food ikakuja tukakula hadi dem nilimshoo asiache food mimi vile nilimaliza kukula hivi straight kwa bedroom ya wageni nikajifungia before nidose nikaona ka bag ka dem ksmetolewa mbio mbio akaenda jamaa kurudi kwa nyumba aka noc mlango like 1hour sikufungua morning nkamka akaniuliza mum uko na fare nikamshoo sina akanipea kama kawa kufika kwa mat akanitext ati huyo dem alikua dem wakifua nikamshoo sijakuuliza nasitaki kujua na hakuna day tutai ongelea hiyo issue alishikwa na stres but hiyo ndio tuliachana,” commented one group member.
“I caught him on call unawares while katiaring some chiq,,I couldn’t wait hata amalize,the drama queen in me arose ,,he was so shocked to see me ,,”beb huyu ni ,,,,,””ni nani?? “Dem Fulani niliomba aniokolee doo kiasi..we work together,”unaomba do za nini na tumetoka kuwithdraw sahii ,,kidogo kidogo story ikachange. Mind you tulikuwa out ,,I gave him a hot slap ,,,number zote kwa hiyo simu nilipewa hiyo siku,” said one group member.
“OK caught him cheating kwa nyumba what he told me was mbona siku mu call first,” said another group member.