Dowry dilemma: ‘High’ bride prices lead to reduced marriages, strained relationships
Aspiring for a blissful and enduring marriage is a common dream and fantasy among young people.
Women often imagine and plan for this moment years before they’re ready for such a commitment.
However, the problem always comes during the longstanding tradition of dowry payment.
Most families demand dozens of cows and goats, millions of shillings, costly gifts, and even lavish parties in exchange for their daughter’s hand in marriage.
With challenging economic times, women and their parents have elevated the expectations of bride prices to levels that deter many unmarried men from pursuing committed relationships, as highlighted by Kennedy Omondi, a Nairobi resident.
“I was in a serious relationship and intended to settle down until I learned of my partner’s family expectations. Her father demanded five high-quality cows and a significant sum of money as part of the bride price. I had just graduated and did not have that much of income. I had to withdraw because I couldn’t afford it,” Omondi told Nairobi News.
Vivian Awuor also shares the experience of her father’s expectations that exceeded her partner’s means.
“My father constantly pressured me to push my partner to pay the dowry. Despite my explanation that he needed time to prepare, my father made mocking remarks. Consequently, I pressured my spouse to pay, and since then, my life has been extremely challenging,” she explains.
“My husband barely supports our family because he feels exploited during dowry negotiations and the entire process orchestrated by my family.”
Despite claims of moving beyond such traditions, the culture of dowry payment continues to not only strain families but also fracture relationships.
Many unmarried men are hesitant to commit due to the burden of bride prices, while some women have also joined in by demanding specific amounts as bride prices.
For instance, celebrities like King Kalala have set their bride prices at exorbitant amounts with demands as high as Sh12 million.
Similarly, another socialite, Asoro Pam, has set her bride price at Sh20 million claiming to be a virgin.
A significant portion of Kenyan youths are unemployed, such demands act as significant deterrents for men looking to commit to relationships.
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