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MONEY MAKER: It’s only in Nairobi where money ‘sells’

By JO April 1st, 2018 3 min read

Every human being, dead or alive, knows how well sex sells. Anyone is a fan of the deed knowingly or unknowingly. There is probably one thing in the universe that rivals sex on this front.

So what is this that competes with and beats sex? We all know it, we all love it, we all want it but we all don’t have enough of it all the time. I’m talking about money. Yes, money. Money sells.

Relax, I’m about to tell you how some to do it… oh and do it at your own  risk. I’m not about to bail anyone out, not in my watch!

Nairobi City is one of a kind. Everyone is always busy moving to or from somewhere. It’s one of the cities where people leave home early just go sit idle somewhere to kill time, yet they still get the bills paid.

I have no liking whatsoever for idling, it kills me! Till this day when I found myself stuck in a ‘foot traffic’ thanks to the city’s functional traffic lights which work perfectly but there will always be a cop duplicating the role.

Like I said, Nairobi, one of a kind.


Across the street there was a crowd, clapping and cheering. Whatever magic that was going on there, my presence was needed. The cop raises his hand and there we are little guided termites crossing the road.

On getting there, a certain gentleman is standing holding some money on his right hand calling out on clients, who are interested in selling less money for more money.

A certain lady decides to head to the front, hands the gentleman Sh500 and in turn the guy gives her Sh1,000. But before she leaves, the gentleman yells, “Madam! Ebu check, si fake.”

It gets really interesting when the lady confirms that the money she has just ‘bought’ is real.

Then one casually dressed man, who appears eager not to hold his horses, hands over Sh1,500 to the gentleman running the show. He is promptly give Sh 3,000 in exchange. Of course he first confirms that its real money, then walks away.

The next in line is a gentleman who is standing next to me. He appears nervous and seems in such a haste to hand over his cash. He goes ahead and gives out Sh5,000 to the visibly happy money maker. He begins indulging the man in loud chit chat. “What are you going to do with this money? Are you excited to be a bidder?” And so on and so forth.

Amidst the chit chat the guy is handed Sh10,000. This one decides that he needs to confirm if it is the right amount. He then laughs and shakes money maker’s hand, then leaves.


Okay temptation does not come dressed in a bald head or long wavy hair here, fellow friends. To this point it is coming to me dressed in a simple language of less for more.

I have Sh600, what’s the harm in making a little extra cash? I grab Sh300 and head to the gentleman he looks at me and assures me they don’t ‘buy’ less than Sh500. There is room for next time, except he is parking his money bag to leave.

In the hustle of other desperate souls begging for a money trade in, we hear someone yell…“Zingine ni fake… zingine ni fake!!!”

Hold it right there! I’m not surprised from the fact that, that was fake money. I’m only amused how much a Kenyan can do to grab a seat at the high end society even if it means selling money or buying money.

I’m walking away from this fracas wondering if the man yelling is the 10k holder. If it is not him yelling, then woe unto him because I bet none of the cash he holds are anything close to real.

Worry not about my presence at the scene. I love drama, even if it means selling quality for quantity. I’m Kenyan after all. I support the hustle every other way.

So dear friends, if you’d like to indulge, here are some tips except change all amounts… kidogo kidogo hujaza kibaba.