Nairobi News


5 key questions that will determine if your relationship is stable for marriage

By Winnie Mabel November 21st, 2023 2 min read

No one goes into a relationship already thinking about its end. They go into relationships hoping that this would be the final time they have to participate in swimming in the dating pool and finally settling down.

But for many men and women, this tends to be a pipe dream because one can never know the intentions of the person they meet. Some people either date for casual sex, date to pass time, date to not be lonely for a while, date for monetary gain or date to misuse partners emotionally, mentally and financially- you know, the sociopaths.

Say then, that fate finally smiled on you and you finally land the perfect partner who ticks all the boxes in your long list of what you want in a partner. You decide to try out Steve Harvey’s renowned 90-day wait to engage in intimacy and when you do, its so good. Because you both managed to hold out and spent that time getting to know each other better- sex tends to muddy the water and someone just can’t see ahead to not either green or red flags in their partner.

Your personal opinion, then, is that you feel that this relationship is on the right track. But then, does your partner feel the same way and can see the both of you together five to ten years ahead? A lifetime together? Hold on a second…before you approach them to ask what they think, here’s five questions you should ask yourself to determine if the relationship is actually stable before having the permanent commitment talks:

  1. How do we communicate with each other? Do we talk openly without hiding things from each other or are vague answers given flippantly? Do we hear or listen to each other?
  2. Do I trust my partner? Can I reliably trust my partner with my life, my emotions, my money and any future dependents we many have?
  3. Do we have shared values so that there would be no conflicts going forward? Are we on the same page about commitment, marriage, kids, money and life in general? Do we want these things together or as individuals in the relationship who would hope to influence the other person as time passes?
  4. Would my partner hold me back in growing as an individual and force/influence me to change to become a person that I never thought I would be? Does my partner support my individuality in the relationship or would push me to simply identify as their partner?
  5. Are we compatible? Beyond great sex, do I see a future with my partner where we believe we can create a great life together other than what society tends to expect of committed couples? Will we genuinely be happy and fulfilled in this relationship without any regrets?

Do you have any more questions you would ask yourself to determine if your romantic relationship is stable enough for permanent commitment talks? Do let us know…

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