Nairobi News

By COASTAL JACK

Ratchetness, drugs, theft and violence. Sounds like a plot on a Hollywood movie, right? Wrong. All this occurred at Jameson Live Party this Saturday when American rapper B.o.B headlined this year’s Jamhuri Day held concert.

Despite the chilly and wet weather, the girls didn’t hesitate to put come in cheek-peeping booty shorts, micro dresses and some in just long t-shirts.

The stage for the battle for most flesh and figure showing outfit had been set even at the ticketing line. Meanwhile, inside the dome was a Sodom-like-crowd with reefer smoke stinking up the air, while drunk fans displayed their make out skills (complete with the boob and derriere grabbing) for all to see.

And while all that would have slid past unnoticed, the girls who went on stage to show who could act the most ratchet for 15 seconds of infamy did not. Four girls tried to show who could “wiggle, wiggle” the raunchiest, with one eventually getting a ride on B.o.B.

Then there was this group of about six guys, one of who would have to be labelled “the clumsiest pickpocket in the world” (he tried to pick my pocket while I was looking right at him) were on a mission!

PICKPOCKETS

The burly dude, with fingers the size of infant legs, tried to get into my back pocket that had nothing but trash I don’t throw out in the streets because I was raised better than litter.

This guy had a shirt tied to his thieving hand, that’s probably heavier than a cow’s hind leg, which he placed into my pocket and I immediately felt it. I’m simply glad that, smartly, I didn’t have my wallet on me because the size of this behemoth, and the number of crew in tow wouldn’t have seen me getting it back, even if I caught him in the act.

For once, I felt perfectly fine with littering because I know he realized those were only wrappers and receipts when he got to see his “spoils”. I pointed out this group of thugs to a guy I was standing next to during the concert to alert him and he just said “I know, but I have nothing in my pockets”.

They did meet their match. Maybe “clumsosaurus” was at it again, because while B.o.B was in the middle of performing one of his ballad raps, space started clearing right below where he was performing.

The guys were now fighting another group of guys and ladies were screaming and everybody ducking for cover. It took security guards quite a while to get the melee in control, as the first respondents had to frantically call for back up.

FAMALE RAVERS

There is another face to these goons, which is to prey on “thirsty” female ravers. That handsome dude trying to holla at you, might actually just be trying to get into your purse. Funny how I warned this chic in a daring red dress (which she really did pull off) to put her purse in front of her rather than to her side, and she ran from me terrified like I had told her to “reach for the skies”.

To her credit, she did her flight with her purse in front of her (LOL). Of course, I was intrigued by her outfit and “presentations”, but I realized she and her friend had this guy “with them” since he was walking constantly behind them and almost in the middle. Since we were on our way out of the concert, I thought I’d try my luck by waiting to see if the guy really was with them. The girls, however, took a sharp right turn when trying to avoid a group of guys in their way, while this guy took a right turn and then suspiciously looked around to see if he had been spotted.

As he made a bee line back for the girls, I quickly went and got between him and the girls to warn them. The dilemma is that security can’t do much without the culprit being caught red handed, because proving somebody stole from someone else you don’t know, who isn’t present, is a near impossibility. And I’m sorry, I’ll look out for the next man as a citizen of the world but I won’t be a martyr for your smart phone or cash, just like I won’t be for mine. Just be careful out there.

Took security about a few minutes to break up the fight…

Here is how it happened: https://www.facebook.com/NairobiNewsKE/videos/936754996417049/?theater