Nairobi News

Sparks flew at a virtual forum that Nairobi News had organised for university students to debate why love-related murders are on the rise in campuses.

Twenty-five students from five universities had strong opinions on why a learner will snuff out the life of a colleague because of love-gone-sour.

While some blamed their peers for committing themselves too much in campus relationships that are often temporary, others sought to put themselves in the killers’ shoes.

In the past few months, more than six university students have lost their lives due to disputes from relationships.

A WhatsApp group that Nairobi News created to discuss the matter saw students from the University of Nairobi (UoN), Moi University, Kenyatta University (KU), the Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology (JKUAT) and the United States International University (USIU) sent over 200 messages in a debate on the matter.

The issue of having too many expectations in campus lovers quickly emerged.

Sheila Chepkemoi, a second year UoN student, wondered why a campus man should expect his university girlfriend to be faithful to him as if they are married.

“There is no way my boyfriend will expect me to behave like we are married and tend to all his needs like a wife na hajalipa mahari. We are too young to have such silly pressures in life. Relationships should be intimate but flexible,” she wrote.

“With changing times we need to get into relationships when we are a bit more mature,” she added.

FLEXIBILITY

Eric Mwandawiro, a second year student at KU, said if a lady goes on with the “flexibility” that Sheila called for, the boyfriend may resort to murder to avenge for his wasted time.

“This guy will kill the lady not because he wants to but because he sees the lady to have wasted his time,” he stated.

Esther Opiyo, another second year student at Kenyatta University, said if she cannot let God take control of a situation, she can kill her boyfriend “at my uttermost point of anger”.

“He’s done this so many times and denied when I didn’t have evidence. And he’s lied about it over and over. Now I have evidence and I swore to kill him if I got evidence. He agreed… I will find myself doing it and be hit by realisation later.”

“I can’t kill for love but I can harm and revenge… Do something to leave a legacy to someone,” said a Moi student called Duncan.

“If you really are in love… Christian or no Christian you can kill… if you can’t kill, then another person can,” said Faith Helen of Moi.

But in retrospect, Esther called for reasoning with those who kill university students.

“We can’t really blame these campus people for stabbing their spouses. If we’d get one who’d talk about it, who’s in prison to help understand the situation, we’d be somewhere with our judgment. Too bad most of them succumb to mob justice,” she noted.

But Elisha Mugabo, a second year law student at Moi, disagreed: “No amount of murder is acceptable under any circumstances except under self-defence and the amount of provocation then must be of equal measure.”

ABSTINENCE

The issue of rushing into campus relationships also arose in the discussion, with students lambasting their colleagues who take campus relationships too seriously then over-react when it goes wrong.

Faith “Sonik” Wangari, a third year student at Moi, had no kind words for colleagues who live with male students as wives.

“Surely, first year unaishi kwa mwanaumwe ati you are in love within the first week? You met while drunk in the famous freshas’ night and he ‘chipod’ you on that very night… Since then you happily camped at his place. Happily assuming all the roles of a wife. While he’s busy playing you and of course getting clean As in his transcripts. Ladies please,” she wrote.

“Truth be told, us guys like rushing these ladies to bed and it’s not never fair, ati to prove love,” responded Brian George, a first year student at Moi. “Haraka ya kuonja tuache. For every sexual experience there is created a soul-tie that wants to have more and more…”

Sally Kym, a third year student at Moi, explained more: “I know of ladies who get involved with the wrong guys simply because they guy would buy them stuff and give them a sense of security…”

In that line of thought, Christine Waceke of KU called for abstinence among students: “Sex creates a strong bond between people. That’s why it’s said sex is after marriage not before.”

And Pauline Achuya of KU added: “Unless you’re committing to this relationship till marriage, no need to be in it. That’s a waste of precious time.”

To ensure no bad blood emerges when a relationship turns sour, Moi’s Eddy Ashioya had some advice.

“I have a campus bae. I’d say I’m adverse to staying alone. Thing is people ought to DTR (Define the Relationship). Are you my main chic? My side chic? Or are we just friends with benefits?” he wrote.

EXTERNAL FACTORS

Some students, however, thought there are external factors behind students killing each other.

“Instead of taking responsibility and save our youth, our leaders are out there corrupting the little tax we struggle to pay. They should take responsibility and organise talks on relationship matters in our campuses and also guidance and counselling,” opined Charles Musembi, a third year Moi student.

“The reality on the table is always the blame game, there is so much happening around even on that ‘blame game’,” stated Peter Sudi of USIU.

“Movies and high school have played great damage,” said Samuel Ranja, a second year student at UoN.

“Everyone became so busy making money and forgot the reason they are making money in the first place… so the youth are left ‘kufunzwa na ulimwengu’,” said KU’s Caroline Mumbi.

The latest incident of happened on March 21 when Steve Wairimu, a fourth year hotel and hospitality management student at Moi University’s Eldoret Town Campus, died after being stabbed by a first year he had found in the room of a girl he went to visit.

Eight days earlier, University of Nairobi student Kelvin Ikatwa, 25, had died after his girlfriend stabbed him with a kitchen knife for allegedly posting another woman’s photo on his Facebook account.

Two weeks earlier, a fourth year student at Egerton University was stabbed to death by her boyfriend, a casual worker. The February 26 incident occurred at the student’s rented room in Njoro and the assailant was later killed by a mob. They left behind a four-month-old baby.

Earlier, on July 12, 2015, a 23-year-old student at Moi University’s Eldoret West Campus was stabbed to death by her ex-boyfriend in her campus room. The assailant was later killed by a mob.

And on April 26, 2015, a 21-year-old student was stabbed by her boyfriend at the University of Kabianga for allegedly cheating on him.