Nairobi News


BLOG: Important lessons on why families should always stick together

While at a restaurant in town earlier this day I happened to overhear a couple of young people talking and one of them said that it is not a part of their family traditions to visit one another.

The young girl said that she was not taught that visiting and spending a few days once in a while with close relations was a normal thing to do and so she and her siblings have never spent holidays or other events with their family members.

This thing struck me as strange, because I can hardly remember a holiday in my childhood that I did not spend at least a few days at uncle or aunt so and so’s house or a fortnight and grandma’s place. And my cousins would visit my family in return.

I actually attribute my close relationship with most of my cousins to the visits and stays during the Easter, August and December holidays. In fact, as cousins, we have been having get-togethers in those same months where we catch up and have our children get to know each other.

I believe it is important for families to stick together in such ways because of several reasons. The first thing is for relatives to get to know each other.

Our families are growing, we are changing. The babies that have been born this year alone are so many and in the years to come will be unrecognizable unless we have a way of staying in touch with one another.


I have heard horror stories of bridal negotiations and show ups – events that are usually marked with great joy – turn tragic after it is discovered the couple intending to wed are related.

I was told a story about my friend’s cousin’s ruracio. When the man’s family got to the home of the bride to be, they found their relatives sitting in the tents.

They asked, “You have come to help us negotiate a good price for our daughter to be?”

“No, we have come to make sure that the young man coming to this home has brought us good things worthy of our girl,” came the reply.

They were from the same family, yet on different sides of the dowry negotiations. It turned out that sisters who had gotten married far away from each other had never visited one another. Their children were never introduced to one another but met later on in life, fell in love and decided to have a family.


By the time of the negotiations, the bride to be was already pregnant. The whole thing was called off, but the couple continued staying together. What was done was done.

Another reason to get to know your family members away from events like weddings and funerals is that one gets to talk to them properly and get to know where they are in life.

It is easier to know which cousin is driving the V8 at a meeting of 20 people than a function of 600. This way, one can brainstorm, share ideas and even problems. That is what family is for, to share the good times and the difficult ones.

Help your children know their family members. The world is getting smaller, people are getting opportunities all around the world, but it is still possible for families to remain tightly knit.

With the advent of technology, family gatherings are still possible. Use Skype, WhatsApp or other communication devices to connect to loved ones.

This life is hard, but it gets easier when people bound by blood and friendship are in it together.