Nairobi News

I guess every columnist this week will be talking about the poor lady who was stripped naked by Embassava touts after they accused her of being scantily dressed.

Everyone has also been talking about the city girl behind this column who bashed her male age mates — those avuncular crooks for pointing out their nonsense. Telling them about their mediocre lives and challenging them to man up.

I hate to write about cliché topics like feminism and women empowerment.

I will leave that to those “serious” dreadlocked human rights columnists and that young self-proclaimed political commentator whose warped arguments make you doubt his doctorate.

It is a man’s world. Men control this game of life. Women know it, some hate it and a few like me do not care.

I mean, the way I see it, this imbalance is a masterpiece of cosmic proportions, and my rant is a drop in the ocean.

Men rule us in relationships. It is true. They are adulterous cads who shamelessly cheat on their wives but cannot stand the idea of their women having male friends. They sire wild oats but would not raise another man’s child.

They control the resources. They are paid more at work even though we are more talented and twice as diligent. They get away with just about anything. A male columnist bashes women on a local magazine, he is celebrated. A female columnist says the ugly truth about her peers and she is short of being stripped naked.

SATANIC HYPOCRISY

The sexism and hypocrisy in all of you is sickening, disgusting and downright satanic.

You are shamelessly Janus-faced.

Your narrow-mindedness is mind-boggling.

Ok, I will stop there. This is a family paper and the powerful lawyers of “Kili-Money” moms will write to my CEO, demanding the “immediate termination of Njoki Chege.”

By the way, I am furiously punching this piece in my evening class and the lecturer up there thinks I am polishing up my presentation, which I will be presenting in a few minutes. That is to those who think I never went to school.

Now, to the crux of the matter. How is it that we apply double standards in how we judge young men and women?

Young men are allowed to be little, irresponsible cads who stupefy themselves with alcohol but when young women act the same way, they are labelled as ratchets.

MISERABLE TWITTER BIGWIGS

You are a grown man in his thirties, your poor parents sold everything they owned to take you to university and all you have to show for is 23,500 followers on Twitter.

What tomfoolery is this?

You are a young man, you sleep around as you like, participating in drunken orgies and when a young woman attempts to date more than one guy, you call her a slut.

You claim to be of sound mind and you attend those Masaku Sevens events that have always been more than a tawdry Sodom and Gomorrah?

Who are you? The Lord?

You are a young man in your late twenties. You have just started out in life. You are living your life like there is no tomorrow.

And yet you blame young women for demanding financially responsible men.

Who do you think you are? Jesus?

SHALLOW WUSSY BABIES

You think you are important because you have 30,900 followers on Twitter and yet your house rent is Sh3,900.

Just because you went to school does not mean you know everything about the media.

These young men who are too big for their britches should stop being shallow wussy babies and act their age, not their shoe size.

Let me smite you with the truth, you bozos. Arguing that the 40-year-old millionaires were once reckless 29-year-olds is jejune and idiotic.

The 40-year-old millionaires were assiduous 29-year-olds who saved their money to build their empires.

I should know, because I hang around them, no?

My take: We need to absquatulate from this Flinstonian thinking and Machiavellian manoeuvres because it will only result in a tragedy of Shakespearean magnitude.

If that sentence is too difficult for you to understand, I will simplify it for you, young man; Go to ****.