Having a boring sex life with your man? Here are tips on how to raise it with him
Sex is a big part of a relationship. If things start going south in that department, then the relationship is at risk.
Problem is that conversations on sex are difficult to navigate. An attack on a man’s sexual performance is akin to an attack on his manhood.
Here are tips on how to bring it up without hurting his ego”
1. Use the nostalgia – Remember the good old days when the two of you had the perfect sex life? Go back to those times together. Talk about it. Let him see that it can be great again.
2. Make ‘I’ statements – When approaching the subject, use “I” statements rather than “you”. When you make it about you and the things you are feeling, then he will not feel like he is being attacked.
3. Ask questions – Asking questions is one way that you can get a clearer perspective of exactly what he is thinking. Ask him questions, and listen while he gives the answers. Listening to his truth will help you in coming up with a solution.
4. Have solutions in mind – Before you broach the topic, make sure to think of some solutions that might work. This way, you are not also a part of the problem. When you bombard him with a problem and do not suggest even one solution, it can be overwhelming.
5. Keep it off social media – If you and your man are having problems in the bedroom, do not even think about posting the same on social media. This is because words travel fast on the web and if he hears it from another source, then it will hurt him and consequently, the relationship.
6. Be considerate – Relationships are about compromise. If you go in guns blazing demanding things that he may not be able to give you, it will not work. Try to, instead, listen to what he has to say and meeting him in the middle.
7. Don’t bring it up in bed – When in your bedroom, naked with your partner is when you are most vulnerable. It is definitely not the right time to talk about their lacking performance in bed. Choose a more neutral time and place to discuss the issue.
8. Don’t criticize – Never criticize. Instead, try complimenting on the good and redirecting where you think there is a problem. Criticizing will result in the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.