Nairobi News


Kenyans narrate crazy distances they have travelled just for a shag

What is the longest journey you have ever embarked on just to get laid?

Kenyans have narrated their hilarious quest for satisfaction journeys that involved hours of travelling and often times, disappointments.

A user started the conversation when he tweeted; “Yenyewe growth is growth. Nilikuwa nakuja all the way to Karen for strokes ????? foolishness.”

“I once went to S.Sudan for strokes. That weekend, the north and south were meeting in Juba for a meeting that went baaaad. Guess who was stuck in between gunfire, airports closed, no network. And that time, they were shooting down planes. Jesus truly saves from stupidity,” a user narrated.

“Back in 2016, I would do 16 hours to Kampala! It was hectic AF yet my neighbor angenipa. To make it worse, she used to text me and say ‘Tell me something nice.’ Foolishness!” another retorted.

“Back in 2014 when doing my masters in the UK took a flight to Kenya just for strokes, dint even visit my folks while here, my big siz was shook…actually I’m also shocked when I think about it,” a user wrote.

“Mt Elgon to Machakos…then unaambiwa ume chelewa wazazi washarudi…U-turn my friend, same distance angry ???????????✔✔✔,” a user narrated.

“Left work at 10pm, booked a Mombasa bus departing at 11pm, arrived at 6am and by 10am I was on the next bus to Nairobi. Nilikuwa night shift hiyo day so work awaited from 10pm ??♂️??♂️??♂️….. Never again,” another wrote.

“I once traveled from Nyahururu tu Kericho, gaidi ilikua imenishow budake alikuwa amevisit mamake who worked at Lamu, so mimi nilikua niwe paka…raha ilizindi tukasahau siku ya mwenye nyumba kurundi, yaliyonipata ???,” a user narrated.

“If the strokes were ?it was worth it also, some of us tumeendea strokes Arusha so we can’t judge,” another commented.

“Overnight to Mombasa from Nai, then left Msa in the am, got to Mukowe Jetty at 5pm, boat took ten mins but had to wait for it to jaa and I didn’t want to take the show then coz it took longer. Worth it though. ? Lakini I tafutad a flight back. 25 ngwanyes one way to Nai. ??♀️,” another narrated.

“A pal was telling me how she went to some EA country by bus, fikad there and discovers dude has a main chic. Yeye nani, alisema she can’t waste her hours in a bus to be hindered by such a small situation, collected her strokes and was in a bus back to Nbo the following morning,” another added.

“? ? ? mimi sijawaambia venye nilikua nabeba omena kutoka Kisumu hadi Kitui, shoulda seen me grinning like a goat carrying that love package, strokes had to be delivered tho,” a user wrote.

“I’m a team tangatanga myself but whew ? The year is 2017, I did a record Nairobi to Kampala bus ride for some action. Haha a whole 12+ hours on the road. But tell you what, it paid off. Those M7 girls really know their stuff bana wueh,” another narrated.

“I remember doing a Kakamega – Kayole trip. Kufika Soweto at 10:00pm nikasanywa phone, wallet na viatu ??? ilibidi nibangaize na watchman flani hapo overnight tukichapa story za bullfighting. Ilifika morning tukaosha magari nayeye nkapata transy ya kurudi Kakamega ??,” another added.