Money Matters: How financial allowances can sour romantic love
So everyone is currently talking about how some romantic partners give each other monthly financial allowances. Some get up to Sh 30,000 while others get Sh 150,000 simply for being a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband. It’s become a trending conversation as some people upload screenshots of such transactions they received while others announced their longing to have such romantic partners who ensure the financial health of their lovers.
But then, what are the dangers of having such a dynamic, especially in romantic relationships? While it is all romanticized, believable and unbelievable, these monthly allowance transactions can end up destroying the relationship down the line. Here’s how…
- You will have created an expectation in a partner that they are entitled to your money every month, but when the month comes when you don’t send them money, the drama begins. The receiver will believe that this was a permanent, non-negotiable arrangement and when you don’t meet their expectations, this will cause them to become frustrated and disappointed.
- You will have created a financial dependent, more than a romantic partner. These receivers will begin feeling that their self-esteem, independence and personal growth are tied to you; and your money- more than the love they initially felt for you- will become more important to them than you as a lover.
- The money you give your lover will begin making you look like the superior in the relationship and they the inferior partner. The power imbalance will affect the relationship where the inferior partner will end up beginning to feel resentment that money is used to “control and keep them around” as opposed to equity and romantic love. The money will begin feeling like a noose around their neck and the love becoming conditional.
- A financial allowances receiver may end up becoming less responsible for their financial obligations and life because they have a partner taking care of them. Their self drive to better their lives will dwindle and all their decision making will be shifted over to the partner who gives them money. Woe unto them if the relationship ends and they had no money saved for their use.
- 1 Timothy 6:10- “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” The partner who sends money to a lover may be turned into a demi-god, the love between partners that the Bible describes (especially among married couples) will lack the intimacy and emotional connection needed for it to thrive and a receiving partner will end up doing anything to keep the financial monthly allowances coming their way- good or bad.
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