Muthaka: My endless battle with imposter syndrome
Kenyan singer Muthaka has opened up about her battle with imposter syndrome which often leaves her feeling anxious after a performance.
Muthaka (real name Christine Muthaka) has lamented how despite putting up a good performance on stage she struggles to hold interviews or meet and greet her fans.
Muthaka, who was crowned the best female artiste in East Africa in this year’s All Africa Music Awards (Afrima), said feelings of doubt cloud her thoughts making her question her abilities as an artiste.
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“First, thank you to everyone who came for the show on Saturday. Honest deeply and truly that was such a moment ☀️ I’m just now getting the courage to post about it because right after the Performance backstage I had a really weird breakdown,” Muthaka said.
“Feelings of sadness and anxiety and imposter syndrome in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. How is it that all those people came just for me? How do I put up a Performance and have people leave their house, buy tickets and come all the way just for me,” she further said.
“I felt a lot of pressure to put on something grand, and as a result, I couldn’t do or say most of the things I needed to, but the Performance itself felt really good. I didn’t get to see or talk to a good number of you after the show but you should know how much your presence meant to me.
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“Singing with you, laughing with you and experiencing new stages of my career with you keeps me wanting to do this. Because truthfully if it wasn’t for your continued support I probably wouldn’t still be doing what I love because moments like those where I doubt myself sometimes outweigh everything good I’ve done.
“Point is, thank you for coming. Thank you for seeing me and wanting more, thank you to all the people who keep me together and thank you for spending time with me,” she said.
According to Wikipedia, individuals with imposter syndrome doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud.” They also incorrectly attribute their success to luck.