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BLOG: Never underestimate importance of sex in marriage

By NAIROBI WIFE December 6th, 2018 2 min read

I did not know how important sex is in a relationship, until I wasn’t getting any.

I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year and a half now and I have learnt the hard way that not getting any can be seriously detrimental to an intimate relationship.

That aspect of physical closeness helps in keeping couples together, it is no wonder that the lack of it is a practical reason to get a divorce in Kenya.

Here is why I think sex is the glue that keeps families together. First, it is the only act that can truly bring a couple closer than they were before.


To me, sex is like a big secret that I have in my heart, something deep within (pun intended). When you share a big secret with someone, open up your heart to them, you have something in common that will bring you closer to each other.

You have given them a piece of yourself, making them a part of you. And they reciprocate by sharing with you theirs.

So that level of intimacy, I feel makes a bond stronger than any conversation or gift or literal secret can forge between two people who love each other.

Letting someone know everything about you, to get to know you, inside and out, to discover things about you that your did not know yourself, it should be taken very seriously.

Ideally, this coming together, in my view should happen with just one person. I do not understand why or how it is taken so lightly yet sex wields the power to create entire human beings.


Secondly, it is a means of stress relief. After a long day in the office or with the kids or with in-laws, one can find solace, peace, and comfort in the arms of their lover. You can unwind and relax, even for a few minutes before the reality that is life catches up to you again.

Another thing that makes intimacy so important is the build up to the actual act itself. Sending each other sensual and naughty messages, buying lingerie and even just dropping hints about what you want to do to your partner or what you want them to do to you makes life thrilling.

It also assures your partner that not only are you still interested in them, but you are still attracted to them and the qualities that drew you to them in the first place are still there. It helps reignite the spark that may die down when life happens.

So, whenever you get a chance, despite your busy schedules, demanding jobs, children and other responsibilities, always make time to be intimate with your partner.

Those five minutes may add another five years to your relationship!