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How ‘kuoga na kurudi soko’ mindset is costing GenZ

By Winnie Onyando September 6th, 2023 2 min read

Love, trust, and faithfulness are admirable qualities that many couples seeking romantic relationships cherish.

Unfortunately, these virtues seem to hold greater significance for millennials who have ended relationships and parted ways with those they truly cared about due to infidelity.

On the other hand, GenZ appears to be less concerned with these virtuous ideals.

Many GenZ subscribe to the “kuoga na kurudi soko” mindset, which has left many broken and depressed. As such many GenZ find themselves in ambiguous “situation-ships” that defy clear definitions.

Also read: Relationship or education? Choosing between love and opportunity abroad

The term “open relationship” is commonly mentioned, as many navigate their way through relationships like a gamble.

While millennials tend to be clear about the qualities they desire in a partner, GenZ seems to take a more casual approach, hoping their partner matches their expectations. If their preferences change, they are quick to move on.

A significant number of young adults enter into relationships with a mindset focused on having fun, without any commitment, as their tastes and preferences change rapidly.

Also read: Love without limits: Are open relationships the future of intimacy?

“I believe I’m too young to commit to anything serious. That’s why I prefer open relationships because the emotional damage is less. However, I often find myself heartbroken while pursuing fun. My way of healing is to enter another relationship to numb the pain. Maybe when I’m ready for marriage, I’ll consider a serious relationship,” says Kenneth Njoroge, a college student in Nairobi.

Patrick Ouma, another youth who also lives in Nairobi, says he is all for ‘situation-ships.

“I don’t believe in love anymore; people are pursuing their selfish interests. I’ve been hurt multiple times, and I’ve decided never to give my heart to anyone. I prefer ‘situation-ships’ because the emotional damage is less in case of a breakup. I also think serious relationships are costly, both in terms of money and time. That’s why I enjoy ‘situation-ships,’ as I can walk away whenever I want without too much explanation or drama,” he says.

GenZ often turn to social media to vent their frustrations and criticize the other party with derogatory messages. Parents must educate their children about matters of the heart to help them avoid painful situations and dilemmas.

Also read: Remote work and digital nomadism: The rise of new work lifestyle