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How past flings can poison committed relationships

It’s a common belief that most adults have gone through a “whore phase” where you were single and wilding in the streets.

Most of the time, this phase wears out and soon one craves the safety and comfort of a committed relationship. However, what do you do when your “whore phase” participants decide to follow you to the depths of your newly found relationship? Regardless of your pure inclinations to commit to one person, one phenomenon stands out as a potential saboteur of even the most well-intentioned relationships: situationships.

These ambiguous and often emotionally charged connections from our past can leave a trail of toxic baggage that, if left unaddressed, can poison the well of committed relationships. As we navigate the treacherous waters of love and commitment in the 21st century, it is imperative to delve deep into the intricacies of how a past fling or friend with benefits can interfere with the beautiful journey of a loving, enduring partnership.

Situationships, by nature, thrive on ambiguity and undefined boundaries. They often begin as casual flings or friends with benefits, where the lines between friendship and romance are blur. While they may seem fun and carefree at the time, they can accumulate a plethora of toxic baggage that carries forward into committed relationships. You find that the guy you were once involved with casually suddenly pops up out of nowhere after months of silence with that ‘I want sex’ text. It would be easy to turn him down by telling him you’re already hitched, but what do you do when you’re still sexual attracted to him and also want sex because with them it was that good?

It gets complicated, and soon you start convincing yourself that it’s “just sex” and go for it, only to find yourself caught up in the web of infidelity. It doesn’t end there. Without intending it you find yourself fantasizing about this person while having sex with your partner, and now you can’t figure out where to draw the line.

One major issue is the emotional attachment that often develops during situationships. Even though these connections lack commitment on paper, our hearts are not always privy to such distinctions. When we invest emotionally in a situationship, it can be challenging to sever those ties completely. This emotional baggage can manifest in various ways, from lingering feelings for the past partner to trust issues and insecurities in the current relationship.

When it comes to situationships in many cases, both parties may avoid discussing their true intentions or feelings, leading to misunderstandings and unmet expectations. When these unresolved issues are carried into a committed relationship, they can become ticking time bombs, ready to explode at the slightest provocation.

As the toxicity of situationships seeps into committed relationships, it often acts as a slow poison, eroding trust, and intimacy. One of the most significant threats it poses is the tendency to compare the past with the present. Memories of the excitement and spontaneity of a situationship can make you question whether you’re really up for a committed relationship even though you may genuinely love your partner. This constant comparison can lead to dissatisfaction and a sense of longing for the past, creating a rift between you and your significant other.