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How ‘soft life’ is landing young Kenyan men to mumamaz arms

By Winnie Onyando September 3rd, 2023 2 min read

The crave for freebies and an expensive lifestyle, commonly referred to as soft life, is reportedly leading Kenyan woman towards dating older women.

Meanwhile, statistics show few of such relationships, if any, lead to anything tangible like marriage.

The relationship are mainly based on peer pressure, financial gain and sexual satisfaction.

Meet Joe, a 26-year-old university graduate who once had big dreams of landing a prestigious job and owning an apartment in the city.

But reality had other plans for him.

After months of job hunting with no success, he stumbled upon the allure of soft life.

A friend introduced him to the glamorous world of Mumamaz, a catchy world for older women.

The women, also referred to as ‘sugar mummies’, would lavish him and other young men with gifts, money, and a taste of good life.

“I was hesitant at first,” Joe confesses. “But when you’re drowning in student loans and struggling to make ends meet, the promises of quick cash and luxury are hard to resist.”

Joe’s story is not unique as young men are increasingly shunning the hustle mode to concentrate on pleasing sugar mummies.

For some, like Brian, a 23-year-old aspiring musician, it’s the ticket to pursuing their passions without financial constraints that convinced him to give it a try.

“My sugar mummy sponsors my music studio sessions and even got me a high-end guitar,” he proudly admits. “I’m living the dream now.”

However, ‘softlife’ comes at a price beyond the lavish gifts and fancy dinners.

It often entails complex relationships, secrecy, and blurred lines.

Peer pressure to achieve success and wealth at a young age has further exacerbated the issue, especially due to the rising rates of unemployment and lack of opportunities.

The high cost of living currently witnessed in Kenya and many other parts of the world has also led the young men into having affairs with married women, a move that poses the risk of getting infected with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) or even getting killed.

Fallouts from such relationships are also known to spell tragedy.

“Older women want to control the younger men they date or get romantic with. When a break-up occurs, the women at times become angry, and demand for most or all the goodies they handed you. Their have been instances of serious injuries, or even death, resulting from such relationships,” observed Chritie Mulama, a relationship expert.

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