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How to ditch the “marriage and kids” interrogations by relatives this Christmas holiday


If you’re 25 and above, then brace yourself for the all-so-daunting series of questions that your relatives are bound to fling at you this Christmas season.

Family gatherings are not complete without one aunty or uncle somewhere asking at least one of your cousins or siblings when they are getting married, or when they plan on having kids. It’s either your avunculi or your grandparents, which is particularly worse.

As we speak, many people, much as they love Christmas and family gatherings are already dreading the day they get to go to shagz and celebrate Christmas with unbearably inquisitive relatives. Unfortunately, you simply can’t ditch family time because of something as trivial as nagging and overtly insensitive relatives. So the question is; how do you dodge the uncomfortable conversations?

One thing is for sure though – you have to live your truth. Life is like a big puzzle made up of all sorts of things – what you want, what you face, and how you grow. You’re always figuring out what you love, what matters to you, and what makes you happy. Sometimes, people expect you to follow certain steps like getting married or having kids, but everyone’s journey is different. You might want different things and that’s totally okay.

Your life isn’t just about these big milestones; it’s also about all the little things that happen along the way. The most important thing is to do what feels right for you, even if it’s not what everyone expects. Your story is made up of your own choices, dreams, and the connections you make with others. Embrace what makes you happy and special, because that’s what really matters in the end. Even though that means no marriage or kids. At least not yet!

So in that light, here are a few tips on how to navigate the “When are you getting married or having kids” questions this Christmas holiday.

Humor: Lighten the mood by making a joke or a witty comment in response to their questions. For instance, say something like, “Oh, I’m still perfecting my culinary skills before I start a family. Want me to cook for you?” Humor can often defuse the tension.

Redirect the conversation: Politely shift the focus of the conversation to another topic. If they ask about marriage or kids, steer the discussion towards something else, like hobbies, travel plans, or work-related achievements.

Vague responses: You can respond with more generic answers to gently evade the probing questions. Phrases like, “I’m focusing on my career for now” or “I’m enjoying life as it comes” can be a subtle way to dodge specifics.

Set boundaries: If you feel comfortable, politely express that you’d rather not discuss your personal life at the moment. A straightforward but respectful response like, “I’d appreciate it if we could talk about something else today” can work well.

Remember, you have the right to maintain your privacy, and your relatives will likely respect your boundaries if you communicate them kindly and firmly.