Like Edday Nderitu, everyone woman must have a friend like Bernice Saroni
Some people enjoy claiming that women are their own worst enemies. They base this claim on isolated instances of women backbiting, hating on each other, being jealous of each other in terms of finances, love life and lifestyles as well as one woman not wanting to see another succeed in life while she struggles to catch up.
While these points may be valid, this argument is not entirely true. There are female friendships that are mutually genuine, loving and supportive. These friendships embody the values of sisterhood beyond blood relations and if you want evidence of this, you don’t have to look far… you only have to look at the valuable friendship between vernacular Kenyan singer Samidoh’s cousin, Bernice Saroni, and his estranged wife, Edday Nderitu.
In the middle of an infamous storm caused by her unfaithful husband, Edday’s safe harbor turned out to be Bernice. Bernice has the qualities many women seek in female friends; gentle like a dove, fierce like a pit bull, loves unconditionally and supportive like a well fitting push up bra!
Here’s why I say this.
Samidoh, unlike many men, failed on epic levels in controlling his zipper. His biggest failure? Going for a controversial woman infamously known to have no language filter or decency despite being a nominated Senator in Kenya.
Yep, Ms Karen Nyamu. A woman who has no qualms insulting people online, using vulgar language in excusing herself in participating in breaking up a 13 year marriage and even going as far as bragging about being Samidoh’s mistress.
Well, Bernice was not one to stand for Nyamu’s behaviour, especially after she fought with Edday in Dubai while in was a drunken mess, embarrassing the Kenya Kwanza government while at it. Bernice shred Nyamu to bits, hit out at her for forcing herself on a married man who ended up siding with his wife after the two women fought.
Many times, Bernice warned Samidoh about his behaviour. She warned him to take care of his marriage while she reminded Nyamu to recognize her position as a temporary mistress and stop bothering people. She also consoled Edday about her tribulations and prayed to God on her behalf to ward off the devil and his antics. Bernice appeared to be more invested in saving this marriage than Samidoh was and this served as a balm for Edday.
However, as Edday began giving up on Samidoh and eventually announced she would never be part of a polygamous marriage, much less with an older woman whom she said had no morals, Bernice became Edday’s shoulder to lean on. She went ahead and invited Edday and her three children to visit her in the United States where she could take a rest from the toxic environment created by Samidoh and Nyamu.
In America, Edday and her children healed and thrived, often posting photos of themselves hanging out with Bernice’s family, visiting various tourist locations while Nyamu bragged that she had finally been left with Samidoh. Her sentiments attracted trolls who laughed at her and mocked her for driving a woman out of her marriage simply because she could not find a man of her own.
Eventually, Nyamu began claiming that Edday was not going anywhere and was simply on a break from her marriage. This triggered Edday who categorically stated she had left her husband for whomever wanted him and this cemented her decision to stay in America for good – a decision that was probably encouraged by Bernice.
Recently, Bernice helped Edday enroll her children in American schools. Yes, her genuine love for Edday extended to her children as she wished to see them thrive away from their father who is believed to not taking care of their financial needs in America and subjecting them to humiliation with his affair.
Bernice was hailed as a true friend by a section of Kenyans after she shared a video of Edday’s children in school uniform and packing up their bags as they headed to school for Grades 2 and 8 classes, the same school that Bernice’s kids attend. It appeared Edday and her children reside in Bernice’s American home.
Dear women, do you have a Bernice Saroni in your life? A friend who will be your confidant when you feel like you are drowning and everyone knows your business? A friend who will clean and ‘lick’ the wounds with you as she offered you genuine comfort without judging? A friend who will jump into the mud and fight your opponents? A friend who will hold your confidence and protect you from toxicity?
If you don’t, pray to God to give you the judgement to find one and discern her. A sister friend, one who will not care about blood relations, will stick up for you no matter what and will shield you when it comes down to a fight – because you hope she will be a Bernice Saroni.